I tiredly laid at my bed. I just finished cooking for dinner, washing clothes and making my requirements so I'll rest while waiting for my Father to arrive from work. He's a technician and it's so toxic, because everytime he's resting his boss will call him if there's a problem on the shop. He barely rest because of it. So if I graduate I wanted to get him a shop to manage with no stress, no restless days anymore. Even though being tired can't be avoided, at least it's not as worst as his situation right now.
I go out to my room when I heard a knock, it's probably my father.
I opened it widely and gave him a towel because he's so messy. He smiled and get it from me before heading towards the bathroom to wash. My heart clenched everytime I saw him on that state. Tired and messy.
I sighed before going to our kitchen to prepare our dinner. Not so long, my father entered the kitchen.
So we started eating.
"Kumusta ang eskwela 'nak?" he asked.
"Okay lang naman po," i replied.
"Anong kukunin mo sa kolehiyo?"
Napatigil ako sa tanong ni Papa.
I pouted, when I remembered what happened earlier.
When I was young I really have alot of dreams.
Madami kasi akong kinahihiligan kahit wala naman akong alam sa mga ganun. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit nagkaka-interes ako sa mga bagay na hindi ko naman gamay.
And one of it is photography, kahit wala akong alam sa mga angles, sa mga parte ng camera at kung ano-ano pa, gusto ko talaga 'yun. At kanina sa school habang tinitingnan ko ang kuha ni Maddox sa'kin, nagkaroon ako ng ideya kung ano ang gusto kong trabaho.
"Yung tungkol po sana sa photography Pa," i dreamily said while imagining myself being a photographer. Gosh! I want it! Even if I'm not knowledgeable enough on that thing! I'll do my best to learn!
"Talaga? Oh sige kung 'yan ang gusto mo," he said.
I smiled at him because he really support me about the things that I want kahit mahirap lang kami.
I stopped.
Mahirap lang kami.
My smile suddenly faded when I remembered our state. I can't. We can't. Sa camera palang ang mahal na. Hindi namin kaya 'yun. Plus I still have a lot of miscellaneous to buy.
"Oh anong mukha 'yan?" Papa asked when he saw my sudden change of reaction.
Napilitan akong ngumiti.
"H'wag na pala Pa ang mahal," bawi ko.
"Ano palang dahilan kong ba't ako nagtatrabaho?" he asked.
"'Yun na ang kunin mo. Sundin mo ang gusto mo h'wag mo nang isipin ang gagastusin," he said with the tone of finality.
I stared at him to know if he was just kidding or something. But I saw nothing but seriousness. Unti-unting sumilay ang ngiti ko dahil sa sinabi niya.
"I can work, or find a part time job," i said to lessen his responsibility. But he just laughed at me.
"H'wag na, pag-aaral mo nalang ang asikasunhin mo," he said and resumed eating.
Bumuntong-hininga nalang ako at bumaling sa pagkain. I know he's still hurting so I'll never push to work anymore. He's still hurting about my mother. Iniwan kasi kami ni Mama dahil hindi kayang bilhin ni Papa ang mga pangangailangan niya.
My mom grew up in a rich family but she married my poor father because she love him but I doubt that, mahal ba talaga 'yun? Iniwan nga diba dahil hindi mabilhan ng mga gusto niya.
I think she's just attracted or infatuated to Papa, it's not love. Kaya tuwing pinipilit kong magtrabaho, hindi sumasang-ayon si Papa dahil pakiramdam niya wala syang kwenta hindi niya kami kayang buhayin. Kaya hindi ko nalang ipinilit para hindi na sya masaktan dahil naalala nya si Mama. It's one of the reason why I don't want to be attached to someone. I witnessed my father's sorrow when my mom left us. I was also hurt badly because I was a Mama's girl. I was too attached to her that's why when she left I think there's a part of my soul got missing. That's why I will never be attached to someone anymore. I don't want to feel those kind of misery again.
Patago akong humikab dahil sa antok habang nagtuturo ang guro namin sa harap. Can't wait the bell to ring.
I checked my watch, we still have 30 minutes! Ang tagal!
Dahil hindi ko naman naiintindihan ang pinagsasabi ng guro namin, bumaling nalang ako sa bintana at binuksan 'yun ng malaki. This is my way of easing boredom.
Inayos ko ang pagkaka-upo habang tinitingnan ang dumadaang sasakyan at iba pang tanawin.
While watching outside. I heard laughters that's nearing on our room.
My eyes slightly widened when I saw Maddox with two other men, they're heading towards our room! May pinag-uusapan yata sila dahil tawa pa rin sya nang tawa kahit may silid silang dinadaanan.
I just keep on watching him, until our gaze met.
His smile slowly fades and his walk turns slowly.
His companion noticed it but they just let him when they saw me, they even tapped his shoulder.
Ilang sandali ay unti-unting sumilay ang ngiti niya. I bit my lower lip because his smile is so sexy!! He chuckled and winked at me before following his friends who left him already.
Napaiwas ako ng tingin ng mawala sya sa bintana, wala sa sarili kong sinara 'yun at bumaling sa harap.
What. was. that?
I felt someone watching me so I glance at my side. Nakita ko ang kakaibang ngiti ni Lian sa'kin.
I raised my brow at her but she just glance at the window I closed lately.
Napairap ako ng makuha ang ibig nyang sabihin.
Ngumisi lang sya sa'kin bago kinalabit si Rian at dumukwang patungo sa tainga nito para siguro sabihin ang nakita, umiling nalang ako bago binaling ang atensyon sa harap.
"So class, have you already decided about the course you'll gonna take in college?" Miss Beloso, our professor ask. We answered 'yes' in unison.
Napabaling si Greg sa'kin dahil sumagot ako ng oo. He raised his brow so I also raised mine.
"Akala ko ba hindi ka pa nakapagdecide?" bulong niya sa'kin. I smiled at him as an answer, he suspectedly eyed me before gazing back infront.
"Let me know what course you'll gonna take then, let's start with you Miss Feron," Our professor asked our classmates on the first row. She stood up and answered then followed by her seatmate and goes on.
When it's my turn, I directly stood up to answer.
"I'm taking up Bachelor of Arts in Photography po," i said that made her smile.
"That's great," she said and gazed to my seatmate.
"Photography?" bulong ni Greg habang nagtatanong na tumitig sina Lian and Rian sa'kin.
"Yup," i answered and smiled.
"Jusko Ece, maniniwala sana ako kung magaling kang kumuha ng litrato sa cellphone pero..." he trilled off.
Inirapan ko siya.
"Kaya nga mag-aaral."
"Hindi mo nga alam ang basic!!" he said trying to wake me up.
"Edi aalamin,"
Napa-iling siya dahil sa sagot ko. Binalingan ko ang dalawang babae na nakatingin pa rin sa'kin ngayon. I chuckled at their faces, ang papangit.
'What' I mouthed at them.
Rian just shrugged while Lian suddenly smirked like she just realized something.
'I got you' she mouthed back.
Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya, she just laughed at me and says something to Rian.
Napansin ni Greg 'yun kaya lumapit siya sa dalawa para makichismis.
At dahil dun, ngingisi-ngisi silang tatlo habang lumalabas kami sa classroom para kumain nung magbreak. Napailing nalang akong sumunod. Parang mga tanga.
We entered the cafeteria and looked for a vacant table. Like usual, Rian ordered for us.
My brow raised when I saw Maddox and other three people entering the cafeteria.
Mabilis kong iniwas ang tingin doon nang dumating si Rian. We started eating in peace not until Maddox laughed loudly making other students to look at their table. Ang laki pala ng bunganga nito.
Mabilis naman siyang tumahimik dahil dun. Of course, my three precious friends are one of the students who noticed his laugh. Dahan-dahan bumaling si Greg sa'kin habang may misteryosong ngiti sa labi.
"Sana all, pinipicturan!!" pasigaw niyang sabi.
Napabuga ako ng hininga, this is not good. May binabalak na naman ang mga walanghiya.
"Binio pa yung initials, Zeafarer!!" parinig ni Rian, yumuko ako habang dahan-dahang kinakain ang pagkain. Ilang beses kong kinurot si Rian dahil siya lang ang katabi ko habang sinisipa naman ang dalawa pero hindi umeepekto.
"Ece, ano nga 'yung kukunin mong course?" tanong ni Lian sa'kin.
Sinaman ko siya ng tingin pero ngumisi lang ito. I want to be out of here!!
"About Photography duh!!" sagot ni Greg dahil hindi ako sumagot.
Shit.
"Pero hindi niya naman kabisado 'yun!! Baka naman may kilala kayong magaling kumuha ng lirato ryan. Patulong naman 'tong friend namin, babayaran namin," parinig ni Rian.
I silently cursed her. Mabuti nalang at kukunti lang yung mga tao sa loob dahil pinapahiya talaga ako ng mga bruha. Ba't ko ba kinaibigan ang mga 'to!?
"May magvovolounter dito! Libre lang daw," sabi nung isang kasama ni Maddox.
Mas lumapad ang ngisi ni Greg dahil dun. Kaya nagsalita na ako.
"Greg, isa hindi talaga kita gagawan ng handouts!" panakot ko sa kanya.
"Ako ang gagawa ng handouts ni Greg," agap ni Lian.
Wala na. Pinatutulungan na talaga ako. Ba't ba kasi 'yun ang sinabi ko kanina? Pwede namang sasabihin kong magguguro ako o ano. Stupid!
"Really? Sino?" tanong Rian.
"Me," Maddox raised his hand and smirked.
"Talaga, marunong ka pala?" maang-maangan ni Greg.
I rolled my eyes at him even if he can't see it.
Masasabunotan ko talaga ang mga 'to.
"Yeah, libre lang. If your friend want," he said.
"Oo naman!" Lian answered immediately.
"No, I'm just kidding guys. Mag-eeduc talaga ako," sabi ko at sinabayan pa ng tawa para magmukhang totoo.
"No, you're not. Sorry ah shy sya," kontra ni Rian sakin.
"Mag-eeduc tapos Arts and Design ang track mo?" nanunudyong pahayag ni Greg.
Bwisit na bakla 'to!
"H'wag kang mahiya Zalia," sabi ni Maddox.
My goodness!! This is stressing me!! I just want to have a peaceful lunch!
"I'm not. I'm just uninterested," i said.
"You not, duh nag-iimagine ka pa kanina habang sinasabi mong magtatake-up ka ng course related to photography!" laglag ni Rian sa'kin. So nice.
"Or you like Maddox," out of nowhere Greg asked.
"What!?" I violently ask.
"Pag nagalit totoo!" he said, so I laughed instead.
"Pag tumawa kinikilig!" Lian added. I glared at her and just keep quiet.
"Pag tumahimik kinoconfirm!" Rian joined.
What the hell!?
"What should I'll react then?" pikon kong tanong.
I heard laugh from the other table. I don't need to gaze towards their side to recognize who laughed.
It's recognizable. Maddox.
"Greg, will you stop this. Hindi ko close 'yung tao tapos magpapatulong ako?"
"It's okay crush ka naman nun," he whispered that made my eyes rolled.
"Ayokong manggamit tsaka mapag-aaralan ko naman yan eh, kaya nga 'yon ang kukunin kung course diba!?" I frustratedly said trying to make him understand.
"Duh! Ece, hindi mo alam ang basic kung magsearch ka wala kang makukuhang matino!
Tsaka si Maddox close to pro yan, past time hobby nilang magpipinsan ang pagphophotograph kaya madaming alam. Balita ko nga nagpatutor sila about photography pero isang buwan lang kasi iba naman 'yung kukunin nilang kurso. Pasalamat ka nga siya pa nagvolunteer!" mahabang sabi niya pero inilingan ko lang. Ayaw ko talaga, ang kapal naman ng mukha ko at magpapaturo sa kanya. I wonder where did Greg got those kind of information, ang dami naman nilang alam tungkol kay Maddox.
"You like Maddox no?" Greg added.
"Uy, wag nyong paaminin baka mahimatay 'tong katabi ko," sabi nong katabi ni Maddox.
"No," I said, that made Maddox's friends laugh.
"Okay lang 'yan bro," sabi nong isa habang tinatapik ang balikat niya.
"Gago," he hissed.
"Kung ganon bakit ayaw mong tanggapin ang offer? Choosy ka pa. Special ka girl?" dagdag pa ni Greg na para bang wala kaming napag-usapan.
"I just–"
"Sabihin mo nalang na gusto mo at nahihiya ka kay Maddox, Ece. Dami pangsinasabi," pilit ni Rian.
What's wrong with these people!?
"Okay fine!!" suko ko.
"Gusto mo nga si Maddox!?" sabay nilang sigaw.
I shyly look at the other students inside because of their noise and glared at my companions. Is it really needed to scream?!
"No!! I'll accept the offer!" pikon kong sabi.
"Iaacept din pala pakipot ka pa!" sabi ni Rian sabay irap.
"Pano ba 'yan bro? Hindi ka talaga gusto," nanunudyong sabi ng kasama ni Maddox
"Then I'll make her like me, simple," mayabang nyang sabi dahilan kung bakit tumili ang kasama ko sa mesa.
I'm in trouble.