CHASING YOU| CH1
A Life with You
“Amaris, kamusta kayo ni Hanz?” Ychié asked me while we're eating at the restaurant.
Masyadong busy si Hanz sa pagiging isang inspector detective, he had so many cases to solve kaya medyo hindi kami nagkakasama.
“It's fine lang naman, as always busy s‘ya sa cases na binabagsak sa kanya,” I respond.
But the reality it is not fine for me, nasasaktan ako, knowing that he can't give his whole time for me.
Habang nakain kami I felt the unknown pain in my chest, masakit ito parang pinipiga kaya napahawak ako bigla sa dib-dib ko.
“Are you okey, Amaris!?” I saw Ychié with her worried face and nagpapanic na s‘ya.
I can't breathe properly. . .
“I am fine, don't worry. Baka pagod lang ito,” saad ko.
Habang nakain kami I saw familiar face malapit sa place namin, unti-unting naging malinaw ang imahe nito nang makalapit sa pwesto namin.
“H-hanz—” I can't believe this!
“Amaris, is that Hanz? May kasamang babae at hinalikan pa n‘ya! I told you may kung ano ‘yang jowa mo!” I was too occupied with my thoughts.
Bakit? Bakit ako pa. . .
“Amaris! Amaris! Wake up!” naririnig ko ang sigaw ni Ychié habang unti-unting nanlalabo ang aking paningin. Anong nangyayari sa akin? Bakit sunod-sunod?
Last thing I remember buong paligid ko ay dumilim na.
  
      “Is she awake?” I heard someone asking.
  
  I slowly opened my eyes to see where I am. Puro puti? Alam ko nasa isang resto ako with Ychié at nakita namin si Hanz na may babae. . .
   “Who are you?” I said to the man infront of me wearing a white suit. I guess he's a doctor.
   “I am Doc. Aarth Rigil, I saw you in the resto together with your friend na nagpapanic dahil nahimatay ka.” He explained.
  Ohh! Geez did I passed out?
  “Wahh! Amaris!!” nagulantang ako nang biglang tumakbo papalapit sa higaan ko si Ychié na kakagaling lang sa pag-iyak yata.
Kahit kailan napaka-ingay nang isang ito.
“Pumunta ba s‘ya? Nakita n‘ya ba?” sunod-sunod kong tanong kay Ychié, ngunit hindi ito sumagot.
I'm not important to him.
   “Mag-pahinga ka pa Ms. Amaris, may screening ka para sa puso mo tomorrow, doon malalaman kung bakit mo nararamdaman ‘yan,” Doc. Aarth muttered before he left my room.
Bakit ang seryoso no'n? Sabagay doctor eh.
“Alam mo ba Amaris, ang pogi nung doctor na ‘yon, balita ko walang jowa yon haha!” kita n‘yo? Matitigok na ako puro kalandian pa alam nitong kaibigan ko.
   “For Pete's sake Ychié, pati doctor?”
  “Ano ka ba, kita mo mga titig n‘ya kanina with worried face!” She protest.
Geez! Malamang doctor mag-aalala sa patient. What a mindset Ychié talaga!
Biglang tumahimik ang buong kwarto, animo'y may anghel na dumaan biglang pumasok sa isip ko ang dahilan kung bakit ako nandito.
“He cheated on me, he doesn't care about me—” pigil iyak kong saad.
Sa dinamirami bakit ako pa? I love him, mahal na mahal mo s‘ya bakit n‘ya ako nagawang lokohin.
“Hindi mo siya deserve Amaris, wake up!”
Said Ychié.
Hindi ko rin deserve ang masaktan.
I sight.
“Kung alam ko lang, edi sana hindi ko na sinagot ‘yon,” I muttered.
For almost year, akala ko busy s‘ya sa mga cases I didn't expect na ang case na inaasikaso n‘ya ay pangbababae.
Sinusumpa ko hindi sila magiging masaya, katulad nang ginawa nila sa akin.
Habang nag-iisip ako biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko, nakita ko sa screen kung sino ang natawag. Si Hanz, just wow nagawa n‘ya pang tumawag?
Kalmado ko itong sinagot at hindi pinahalatang may alam ako sa ginagawa n‘ya.
Kailangan kong maging kalmado, kailangan kong maging edukada sa bawat aksyon na gagawin ko.
“Hello.” I answered the call.
[Hon, what happened? I heard na tinakbo ka sa hospital what happened?].
Hindi ko alam kung nag-aalala ba s‘ya sa akin o ano? Hindi ba dapat pumunta nalang s‘ya dito alam n‘ya na pala na nasa hospital ako eh.
“I just passed out, I'm fine,” walang gana kong sagot.
Paano ko ba ip-provoke ang isang 'to?
[Take care, I gotta go I have more cases, to solve]. He said before he turn off the call.
Funny, wala man lang I love you? Cases or babae? Dang it!
“Kaya mo pa Amaris?” Ychié asked me with her worried look.
Maybe? Maybe I am fine, but the truth is I am not.
I  closed my eye's and let my tears rolled down on my cheeks.
Why me? Bakit ako pa kailangan n‘yang saktan? Am I not enough? Am I ugly?
Why I need to suffer with this kind of pain.
A life with him is the life that I want, but I guess hindi na ako ang kasama n‘ya sa pangarap n‘yang buhay.
“Don't cry, he's not worth for your tears.”  Someone whispered.
Napabalikwas ako ng higa nang malaman ko kung sino ito.
“Time to check your vital sign. It seems that you are broken now, but don't cry for unworthy man reserve your tears for someone better.” Doc. Aarth said.
Wow! Checking my vital sign with love advice bago ito huh? Ano ito side line n‘ya? Doctor × Love advicer hahaha!
“Yeah, you're right doc. He's not worth it thou.” I faken my smile to him.
Now I realize how important to love yourself before loving other person.
A life with him is just my dream. For now I need to love myself first than other.
“Cheer up! You're beautiful and you're not deserving for that kind of pain.” Huling wika n‘ya bago lisanin ang kwarto ko.
Naks!? Kakaiba ‘yon, may pinagdadaanan din ba ‘yon? Wala naman daw jowa ‘yon paano masasaktan ang isang ‘yon?
It's me time, bukas kakausapin ko si Hanz to end up this shit. Sarili ko naman nakakapagod na maki-agaw nang atensyon para akong asong naghahabol.
Minsan talaga napapaisip ako bakit ko pa sinagot ang isang ‘yon? I love him, but I love myself so much than him.
I'm not just a girl, I am a girl who deserve true love.