Tonight, I wasn't able to get any sleep. I spent the entire night staring at Bea, who was sound asleep. I couldn't bear waking her up; it's the only way we can get away from reality. I felt safe for two days that I wasn't awake. At the very least, when I'm sleeping, I won't have to think about anything else.
As I was staring at Bea, I can’t help but to look into her details and reminisce how great she is as a friend. Her dark brown eyes are framed by a lovely set of thick brows. Her broad face is perched on the top of her shoulders. Her face is perfectly complemented by her exquisite small nose. Her physique is sculpted into a figure that any man would battle for. Bea can make me happy just by being herself, which is a show that many people need to cheer up. She enjoys listening to my problems and offering ideas that may be able to assist me in overcoming my difficulties. I'm often perplexed by her ability to simply sit and listen to a poor soul like me pour my heart out, but she sees it as an opportunity to "unload."
Her ability to make the best of any situation is one of her most appealing qualities. She can have fun in any situation by going to Goodwill and using it as a playground. Despite the fact that the worst things can happen to her, like as colliding with a deer, she never appears to be upset. She has a natural ability to laugh and can bring joy to even the most hopeless of circumstances. It makes me sad how I can’t see her genuine happiness anymore.
“Stop staring at me.”
Masyado akong naka focus sa pagtitig kay bea at pag-alala ng nakaraan at hindi ko na namalayan ang paggising niya.
I wish that we can turn back the clock. To see her genuine smile again might be one of my greatest wish this Christmas.

I can’t count how many times Ken tried to approach me and thank God I can always find a way to avoid him.
Ilang sandali lang ay nakarating na kami sa bayan. We were allowed to make a call to our family.
Sa totoo lang, kaya naming umalis nang sabay-sabay at tumakas. Pero ‘yong takot para sa kapakanan ng pamilya namin ang nananig sa’min. Alam naming na isang tawag lang nila, siguradong wala na kaming pamilyang babalikan.
“Jelcy.”
Tinignan ko kung sino ang tumawag saakin.
“Ryu?” I responded.
“I don’t know how to say this, alam kong hindi sapat ‘yong thank you lang pero, gusto kong magpasalamat, that day. You saved my life and my family too. You don’t know how grateful I am to you.”
I don’t know what to respond. Is saying you’re welcome too awkward? I really don’t know how to respond with a ‘thank you’
I didn’t respond but I smiled at him. Gladly, pinagaan ni Ryu and atmosphere naming dalawa. It took us few minutes before ending our conversation.
Tinignan ko ang cellphone ko. I must call my family now. I scrolled through my phone and clicked my mom’s contact. Hindi nagtagal ay sinagot rin nila ito kaagad.
“Jelcy, anak?”
Pagkarinig ko ng boses nila ay gusto ko nang umiyak. I’m glad that they’re fine. That’s all that matters now.
“Ma? Kumusta?”
God knows how much I wanted to tell her all the things I suffered.
“Okay naman kami, ikaw? Kumusta ang pag-aaral mo?”
Hindi okay, gusto ko nang umuwi, Ma. Kung alam ko lang nag anito ang mangyayari, I should’ve spent more time with you. Sana umuwi ako no’ng mga panahong nagbabagkasyon ako, sana hindi naging matigas ang ulo ko at nakinig ako sa’yo ‘pag pinapauwi mo ako. I don’t know if this will be my last call to you. I don’t know if I can still hear your voice some other time.
“Ayos na ayos lang.”
Lie.
I am not fine at all. I’m in pain. In so much pain.
“I miss you.” ani ko.
“Naku, ayaw mong umuwi pero namimiss moa ko? Hintayin mo ang papa mo at darating rin ‘yon ilang sandal lang.”
Tila ba may inaayos siyang kung ano dahil sa naririnig kong iba’t-ibang tunog na nanggagaling sa kabilang linya. Marahil ay naglilinis siya ng bahay o kaya naman naghahain ng pagkain upang paghahanda sa nakatakdang pagdating ng papa.
“Hindi ko alam kung makakapaghintay pa ako ng gano’n katagal e.”
She fell silent.
“May problema ba, anak? Bakit ka umiiyak?”
She can always sense when something is wrong with me. I wish I could tell her. God knows how much I want to tell her.
Kahit pinipigilan kong hindi lumuha ay hindi ko mapigilan.
“Wala po, medyo mahirap lang sa school ngayon tsaka namimiss ko na kayo. Uuwi ako sa susunod bakasyon, lutuan mo ako ng paborito kong ulam ha?”
“Naku naman, nakailang sabi ka na niyan eh, bakasyon naman ngayon, bakit hindi ka umuwi?”
“Kailangan ko pang mag-aral ng mabuti eh.”
Who would buy that excuse?
“Can you stay on the phone a little while longer?” pakiusap ko.
“Hindi mo ba talaga hihintayin ang papa mo? Ilang minuto nalang darating na ‘yon.”
“Hindi ko na kaya, Ma.”
She didn’t say anything. She stayed on the phone like I said.
Noong sumenyas na si Miss Alvarado na bumalik na kami sa van ay halos ayaw ko pang magpaalam sakanya.
“Merry Christmas, Ma.”
Then, I ended the call.