Shei's POV
I can't restrain myself from gawking, blankly staring on my father's coffin surrounded with different funeral flowers. I still can't accept the fact that our father left us, without even bidding a goodbye. The scenario in the hospital was still fresh and repeating in my head.
***Flashback***
I was awakened by the sudden movement on the place where my head lies. My eyes immediately widened when my mind finally processed what was happening in front of my eyes. My father was like convulsing, his eyes are dilating and his whole body was shaking.
With trembling hand, I reached for a button placed on top of my father's bed. In just a matter of seconds, a doctor with his nurses rushed inside the room. It feels like my mind and body became numb and I can't take away my sight from my father. I felt four hands holds both of my arm, carefully pulling me to the door.
"N-no....I w-won't left my father. I'll stay, please let me stay at my father's side," I begged. Finally words came out from my mouth as I tried to pull back my arms from their grip.
But who am I fooling around? They are both strong and mindful men while I am just a weak and lost lady. Warlessly, they easily shove me out of the room. I can't even fight my tears from escaping.
Pabalik-balik akong naglalakad sa harap ng pintuan ng kwarto kung saan nasa loob si Daddy. Tahimik akong nagdadasal sa isip ko na sana, sana ay maging ayos siya. Tinawagan ko na rin si Tita Lily at sinabi sa aking papunta na sila. Kagat-kagat ko ang kuko ko nang lumabas ang doktor na agad nakapag-alarma sa akin.
"Doc, how's my father?" I asked full of hope.
But that hope started to fade away when the doctor shook his head in disagreement. Ang pag-iling na tanda ng pagguho ng natitirang lakas ko.
"I'm sorry, but your Dad didn't made it. His body was really weak that he can't fight anymore. Again, I'm sorry. My sincere condolences, iha." The doctor tapped my shoulder before he walked away. While I was left dumbfounded, trying to process the information spilled on my head.
***End of Flashback***
I was snapped back into my consciousness when I saw a familiar person suddenly stood in front of my father's coffin. My eyes started to well again as I wrapped my arms around her. I can clearly see her eyes producing tears like mine. We both have a swollen eyes right now.
"I hope Dad is now in peace," I whispered audibly.
Naramdaman ko ang bahagyang pagpihit ng katawan niya para makita ako. May kung anong dumaan sa mga mata niya nang lumapat iyon sa mukha ko.
"Shei," she murmured with bit of surprise.
I tried to smile on her with full of sincerity but it turns out to be a weak one. She tried to turn around so I loosened my embrace for her to freely look at her back. I also turned around to see what she's looking at. There, I saw the man I've been missing and wishing to see for a long time. I want to run and encaged him inside my arm, but I can't...
"Kai," I whispered as I looked at him with a gloomy eyes that are starting to shed tears again.
I was hoping that he'll come to me with open arms, when he started to walk looking on us. But to my dismay, he chose to hug my sister leaving me flustered on the scene. Leaving me staring at them, staring at him who is comforting my twin.
I'm still on that position when they finally let go from each other's embrace but never detached their touched. He's looking at me as if he didn't know who I am. As if I wasn't the person he used to say 'I love you' before.
I just watched his every move until he whispered on my sister's ear some words that are not loud enough for me to be heard. My sister nodded before he averted his look at me.
"Hi, I'm Kai. Your sister's boyfriend," he smiled that makes me slightly cringe.
Di mo ba ako nakikilala, Kai?
"Kai, I'm—"
"You're Sheen. Your sister already told me about you," he cut my words.
Ganoon ba ang pakilala nila sa akin? Masyado na bang nagbago ang itsura ko para 'di niya ako makilala? I tried to protest but his phone rang that makes me backed off.
Bahagya siyang lumayo sa pwesto namin habang ako ay sinusundan ang bawat galaw niya. Gustong-gusto ko siyang yakapin, pero paano? Natatakot akong gawin iyon dahil baka itulak niya lang ako.
I tried to compose myself when he stepped back and finally faced us. The time may not right but I really want to explain. I need to tell him everything, that I'm Shei and not Sheen. I already opened my mouth but haven't utter even a single word when he interrupted.
"I'm sorry, Gori, I have to go. My Mom needs me. Promise I'll be back, maybe I'm with with Mom and Dad," he said straightly looking at Sheen without giving me even a glance.
He suddenly stopped in front of the coffin and bid some goodbye words to my unbreathing father. My tounge became a coward soldier making its way to hide inside my mouth without saying a word when he faced me and said goodbye. My body was against my mind will that instead of speaking, I just made a nod towards him. Letting and watching him walked away from me.
I helplessly sat on the chair near me when I can't see his figure anymore. My sister came back and mourn in front of our father's coffin, while I'm watching her shaking shoulder.
My eyes formed into a waterfall rushing its tears down my cheeks. Hindi ko na rin alam kung bakit ako umiiyak. Dahil ba sa nawala ang Daddy ko o dahil sa hindi ko inaasahang pakikitungo sa akin ni Kai kanina? Or maybe both of those reasons?
An arm wrapped on my shoulder making me looked on that person. Si Tita Lily na nakangiti sa akin na para bang sa pamamagitan niyon ay maiparating niya sa akin na magiging ayos rin ang lahat.
"Si Mommy po?" tanong ko matapos kong punasan ang mga luhang nagpalabo sa paningin ko kanina.
"Nakapagpahinga na, mamaya lang nandito na rin iyon," mahinahon niyang tugon bago kami binalot ng katahimikan dahil sa ginawa kong pagtango na hindi ko na sinundan pa ng kahit anong salita.
Narinig ko siyang bumuntong hininga kaya naman napalingon ako sa kaniya. "Nakita ko yung nangyari kanina," panimula niya.
Pinili kong manahimik nalang at hintayin ang mga susunod niyang sasabihin. "I don't know if this is the right time to tell you some things that, I think, may answer those questions in your mind. So, just let me know if you're ready. Remember, Tita Lily is just one kembot away!"
Sinubukan pa niyang magpatawa na sinuklian ko lang ng matamlay at mahinang pagtawa. Not a real laugh but enough to show how much appreciation I have. At least, Tita Lily is making his way to show me how he cared for me.
"Thank you, Tita," sambit ko na sinagot naman niya ng isang yakap. An embrace that I really need right now, an embrace with comfort that I thought Kai would give me. I shouldn't expected...
Si Tita ang unang kumalas sa pagkakayakap bago niya ako harapin. "By the way, muntik ko nang tuluyang makalimutan, may naghahanap pala sa 'yo sa labas."
Napakunot naman ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. "Sino po?"
"Claw? Iyon lang ang sinabi eh, kilala mo raw," sambit niya bago ako makahulugang binigyan ng ngiti.
Nagpaalam naman ako kay Tita para puntahan ang taong tinutukoy niya. Samantalang si Sheen ay nandoon pa rin sa pwesto niya mula pa kanina.
A guy wearing a black leather jacket and black semi-fitted jeans while both hands are inside his pocket was the person I saw when I went outside. Maybe he notice my presence so he looked on my side.
"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" tanong ko nang tuluyan na akong makalapit sa kaniya at makatayo sa tabi niya. Pareho lang kaming nakatingin sa daanan na nasa harap namin, habang matamlay naman akong ngumingiti sa mga taong dumarating na namumukhaan siguro ako.
"Makikikape," sambit niya na sinundan niya ng bahagyang pagtawa. Nanatili lang akong tahimik at siguro ay nahalata niya na wala ako sa mood para sa mga joke niya kaya tumikhim muna siya bago magsalitang muli. "Condolence..."
Hindi ko alam kung nakita niya ba ngunit tanging pagtango lang ang ginawa ko. Namayani ang katahimikan sa pagitan namin na binasag niya sa pamamagitan ng pagtikhim.
"I can be your living pain Pandora," sambit niya na ikinalingon ko.
"What? How?" hindi niya sinagot ang tanong ko, bagkus ay hinila niya ako papunta sa garden ng chapel.
Wala na akong lakas na hilahin ang kamay ko mula sa kaniya o pahintuin siya kaya hinayaan ko nalang ang sarili ko na magpatangay sa kaniya. Isa pa, siguro ay kailangan ko ring tumakbo. Tumakbo at magtago ng panandalian sa mga bagay na bumabagabag sa sarili ko.