It's quite frustrating to motivate yourself to keep going  when in fact, your mind and soul is already tired.
Today is the last day of my single life. Later on, I will be Mrs. Jadelania.
"Are you ready?" I smile a bit and hold his hand.
"As if I have a choice eh?" Kibit balikat kong sagot na mabilis namang sinuklian ng tawa ni Keiizer.
"I wish you happiness, well I know you're not even happy about it. Im always here for you little sis"
I don't know what to feel. Its a mix emotion. Ganito pala ang feeling ng ikakasal.
"Where's kaiizer?" Kanina ko pa sya hindi nakikita.
"I'm here" Nginitian ko sya dahil sobrang gwapo nya sa suot nya ngayon.
"Congrats" maikling sambit nito.
"Gwapo nyo ah" natatawang asar ko sakanila.
"Be happy" wika nya bago sya lumabas.
"You know him" natatawang puna ni keiizer. Yeah
"Anak" Mommy enter my room with a awkward smile in her face.
"You're beautiful" I smile widely
"Kanino paba ako magmamana hindi ba kuya?"
"Syempre saakin" pagmamabayang na sagot ni Keiizer. Napailing nalang ako dahil sa kakulitan nya.
"Iwanan ko muna kayo"
Paglabas na paglabas ni Keiizer niyakap ako ni mommy. I can feel that she's about to cry.
"Mommy don't cry please. Masisira ang make up ko" at tuluyan na nga syang umiyak.
"My poor daughter" she said between her sobs.
"I don't know what the future holds for us but I am ready to embrace changes. I am ready to take risk mommy. Im not going to turn my back on this"
"I am so thankful to have such a nice and wonderful daughter like you anak. Thank you for sacrificing your own happiness for our family. I am beyond thankful for that. You know how much we love you right? It's hard hard for us to send you away like this"  pinunasan ko ang iilang butil ng luha sakanyang pisngi. All my life binigay lahat ni mommy at daddy ang pangangailangan naming magkakapatid even if it will cost them big time and its time for me to pay back.
"Im going to be okey mommy, I promise"
We hug for almost 2 minutes before she let go of me and leave my room with smile in her face.
I take a deep breath as I face the door of the church. When I take a step in this place everything will change. I will not be the old Quin anymore.
I close my eyes and I heard the door open. I gently open my eyes and I saw many people smiling and waiting for me.
When I was a kid I dreamed to be a bride of a prince charming and I guess matutupad ko na nga yon.
My dad is standing 20 steps away from me. He looks sad. He must be guilty sending her one and only daughter away.
Charles is waiting for me in the aisle with no emotion at all. I can clearly see his face right now. He looks handsome with his white tuxedo. Well, without that tuxedo he still be handsome. Why am I complimenting him right now
I start walking. I can feel my heart beating so fast. As a woman, the only thing we want is to get married to someone who love us but in my position ikakasal lang ako. Yun lang.
And its a sad thing for me.
We only live once so I think I must enjoy this precious moment right now. Atleast naranasan ko ang ikasal kahit papaano.
"Dad" paglapit ko kay daddy mabilis nya akong niyakap.
"I love you so much my princess" he whispher in my ear.
I cant help but to cry. "Dad please dont make me cry anymore"
He take a deep breath before we start walking again. I saw khloee, Cahlis, Sam and Angela they were smiling and waving there hands to me. Even tita sahara and tito zeus is smiling too.
And I smile back.
I only have 15 steps away papalapit kay charles. I look straight in his eyes and I can clearly see pain in his eyes and regrets.
He might be thinking how to escape this tragic situation right now. I wish I can help him with that.
"Take good care of my daughter, charles" madamdaming sambit ni daddy. Hinalikan nya muli ako sa pisngi bago ibigay ang kamay ko kay charles na seryosong naka tingin saakin ngayon.
"Yes dad" sagot naman nito na labis kong ikinagulat.
"I wish you a long life happiness" daddy said before he go back to his seat.
Ang lamig ang kamay ni charles ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nararamdaman nya but I feel sorry for him. I know hindi nya gusto ito
Ang makulong sa isang relasyon na kailan man ay hindi naman nya ginusto.
After this wedding I know my life will be miserable. I can clearly remember what he said to me, he'll make my life like hell.
Shake it off Kendra.
We face everyone with a smile. They are all happy for us and at some point in my life I wish that we really love each other.
The ceremony start and wala akong maintindihan sa sinasabi ni father. Nakatuon ang atensyon ko kay charles na sobrang seryoso habang naka tingin sa pari na nasa harapan namin ngayon.
"Ikaw lalaki, tinatanggap mo ba ang babaeng ito na maging kabiyak habang buhay sa hirap man oh ginhawa ...."
It took him 30 sec. to respond "Yes father"
And I answer the same way he does. Who am I to say no.
Its time for our vows, kinakabahan pa ako dahil baka ako ang lumabas sa bibig ni charles.
"I, Charles Miguel Jadelania take you Quin Kendra Waye to be my wife. I promise to love you and protect you forever" maikling sambit nito bago inalagay ang singsing saaking kamay.
Sana totoo lahat ng sinabi mo charles.
I smile and gently put the ring in his finger. I didn't prepare any vows for him. Im just going to speak what my heart feels right now.
"I, Quin Kendra Waye take you to be my husband. I will be forever grateful to have you charles. I will do everything to make you happy"
He get rid of my vail and kiss me quickly.
It lasted I think for only 3 seconds. I want to laugh right now.
Everyone clap their hands and shouted "Congratulations"