6. Ask good questions
Try to ask questions with the use of “how”, “what”, or even “why”. The “why” question is useful for the other person to speculate and look backwards, questioning themselves, leading to confusion for them and for you, the listener. How and what tend to be questions that cause someone to look forward and find clear solutions to the topic. Of course you should look out in terms of asking someone a specific question, keep in mind that it is important to ask questions that are deeply thought to avoid misunderstanding towards the subject and the matter. Asking good question is a good practice not just for showing interest to the topic but also it indicates that you are really into the conversation between you and the other person.

7. Watch out for projection
This is something that needs to pointed during conversations with others. There are times when we unconsciously show what we are thinking and feeling to others. Thereby being in a situation that we are caught up by our unwanted thoughts and emotions. Even if you don’t like that person but feel guilty, you might instead told someone o even everyone that this person doesn’t like you. Learn how to stop projecting, or try to control/suppressed yourself from doing it. By learning how to stop doing it, it means you can finally start to see others from the way they are, not think you need them to handle it for you.
8. Consider the thought that understanding others in a sign of strength, not a weakness
For someone you may thought of this idea that understanding others is a sign of weakness. Try to question yourself with this; Think about how many friendship you could have gained, or lives you could have uplift, by trying to be more understanding. This may convince you that it is important to try to understand others more. This may change your behavior or act towards other, and lead yourself into more positive outlooks and developments in your life.
9. Remember that you get back what you ask for
Oprah once said that, “You get in life what you have the courage to ask for “. The fact of that matter is, our life journeys take efforts. At times you are searching to be understood, because you feel that people I your life weren’t paying their attention and time when you need them to listen and understand you. Or want to be more understanding to a love one, since you feel that you find yourself struggling to put yourself into their situation or even relate to them. Whatever it is, be courageous enough to take enough action in looking for answers, and in return may brings you closer to it than you think. While each of us are a work in progress, becoming more understanding will certainly bring you comfort and more support in our lives, while strengthening close bond with others.
10. Turning understanding into compassion
After building your skills in understanding others, how you will be able to use your knowledge? If you are like most people, you use it to help and support people you care about. This is compassion, and compassion helps us form greater relationships.
• Ask others what they need. If a friend is going through a difficult time, ask what you can do to help him/her. If your friend says “I don’t know” think about what you can do when you are going through with that same situation as to what he or she is experiencing at the moment. Then offer them to do something similar to what you’ve thought.
• Show sincere interest in others. Be curious about people you know, not being nosy or in a fake way. But in a way that shows that you want to understand a little better. For example ask them about the things they want to do at the moment, their feelings, ideas, and opinions.
• Act with kindness. When you hear a gossip, a ridicule, or unkind teasing, make it your first reaction to imagine how would you feel to be on the receiving end. That can help you to tune in to other people’s feelings and refuse to join in.
Even small amount of compassion can build positive social connections and interactions that can influence our health , happiness, and even how long we will be able to live.
Even small amount of compassion can build positive social connections and interactions that can influence our health , happiness, and even how long we will be able to live.
In my case, it was a struggle to be more understanding and compassionate to other people because of the fact that I suffered a lot during my entire childhood being hurt and misunderstood by others. Of course I think it will be a better way to stop myself from understanding people because some of them can never do the same thing for me. But I thought of not wasting myself holding back, to do what I think I need to do. I realized the importance of kindness not only within yourself but also to others. That doesn’t mean that other people failed to understand me, I would also do the same to others who didn’t do me wrong. Or stop people to connect with me, to ask for help. If they failed to appreciate me when I volunteered to help them back then, why should I terminate others who are willing to ask for me that they needed help. Why should I let go of my empathy and consideration to others, when it is one of my traits that I know that can do to help people. To all those who did me wrong back then, I understand all of you now.
From spending my time and exerting effort to fully understand myself, I also knew the importance of understanding people. People no matter how good or bad are still human beings going through rapid changes and phases of evolution. If you can understand yourself, use this also to be understanding of others too. Show others that how bad those situations in life had affected you, you can still show kindness and compassion to people. Trust me, if you know how to put yourself into somebody else’s shoes you can relate and understand them. You will not be easily fazed or be manipulated by those people who knew nothing but being apathetic and formed bad judgements that ridicule others. Live your life knowing you can share your light to others. Your experiences make you a person who is a lot stronger than before. You learned by your past mistakes and make this a promise that you will let do those things to others and let them experience the same pain you’ve been true. Live life forming good relationship to others, it will make your life a lot easier.