“And I doubt if you are going to be just like Allah had commanded when you cannot even do that before she comes in, that is my greatest fear but I cannot just let you fall more into fitnah than you have already been; so if getting married to her will stop you from all you are doing, then I think it is best I surrender.” She said to him and he swallowed hard. Aziza had always been a quiet woman and he realised that he had pushed her to the wall.
“So, I think I can just wish you all the best in your second marriage and intensify in my Dua for you.” She said to him.
“Did you remember how I lost my last pregnancy? I understand that it is Qadar but perhaps if you were home that day or was prompt, perhaps I might not have lost that child. I called you all through for three hours, I was bleeding but you were not here and I was too weak to stand up to go search for help.” She explained with tears in her eyes and he made an attempt to touch her but she stopped him.
“Please don’t, I am not lying or making anything up, or am I?” she asked him and tears gushed down her eyes.
“I just decided to forgive that day but can I ever forget?” she asked him.
“I am sorry… it was not my wish.” He said to her and she nodded.
“I still cannot forget that mistake that day.” He said, he know he was so stupid to have listened to Sadiqah that day, it is just a few months that they have met and still trying to get to know each other and he seems to be enjoying her company so much.
“Why is she calling you?” she asked him.
“At least she will get to see you at home.” She said and she collected his phone from him and switched it off and that was it, he got home late that night to meet his wife in a pool of blood, almost lifeless with Habeebullah crying beside her and he rushed her to the hospital with his son and the doctor tried so hard to save her life but the baby was dead and was evacuated. That day, he decided to do something about the empty flats in the compound; he put them out for rents and even got a security man, his wife see no reason for a maid, she want and love complete privacy and she even try to get along with tenants.
“I am sorry,… my love…” he said and moved closer to her.
“Your love? You haven’t call me that in two years.” She said to him as he wrapped his arms around her and she sighed.
“I am sorry, I really am.” He said to him.
“Is she pretty?” She asked him as she rested her head on his shoulder.
“Yes… but not like you.” He said to her almost in whisper.
“Okay, bring her home.” She said to him.
“Did you wish to meet her before the Nikkah? The Nikkah is in four weeks.?” he asked her and she shook her head.
“No, I don’t.” she said to him and he nodded and he put his hand into hers and there was silence in the room with each with her own thoughts.
“Your phone was switched off. I tried your number countless times.” She said to him and he sighed as he listened to her rant.
“Calm down Sadiqah, at least I am here now,” he said to her and she looked at him in great fury.
“Now that you are here, should I applaud you when I could not sleep a wink wondering what was happening.” She said to him.
“Okay sit, we need to talk.” He said to her and she looked at him wondering what he need to say.
“What is it?” she asked him with her heart beating faster, their nikkah is in four weeks and the last thing she wanted was last minute surprises.
“Alihamdulilah, it been a while that we have known each other and the Nikkah is in four weeks and I can’t wait for the wedding.” He started
“Same here.” She said her heart still beating very.
faster as she didn’t know what he wanted to say.
“I am sorry, prior to the time we will get married, I might not be coming her often anymore.” He said to her and she swallowed hard.
“What are you saying, do you want to break up with me?” she asked and he shook his head.
“Was it because she is pregnant now, I told you how sorry I am because of the last incident, you left me for a while as well because of that, I didn’t see you for three months and you didn’t even pick my calls all through those times until you came back. Is that what you want to do again , I can’t take that.” She said shaking her head.
“No, the issue last time was something I will continue to live to regret for the rest of my life, but this time, it is different, the Nikkah has already been fixed and we will get married ins sha Allah, I am not a man who would go back on his word.” He explained
“But I am battling with a lot of issues right now, we have been going through the relationship a wrong way Sadiqah and I want us to at least right the wrong a bit and hope Allah will forgive us. “ He said calmly and she listened trying to be calm as much as she could.
“Meeting your Dad the first time, changed so many things about me … he was indeed a learned man even more than you imagine, I received a crash course on the day I met him, it was like a hot seat and I panicked so much, I was scared, I might make a lot of mistake and that was even the reason I plead during the second meeting if the nikkah can happen as soon as possible, then I wonder, if I can be scared just because I was in front of a mortal soul, how will that day of reckoning be? You and I know we have not been handling this properly right from the very beginning, I spend time with you more than I do with Aziza and that is wrong, you know.” He said to her and she took a deeper sigh.
“But were only courting, we haven't committed Zina. Have you ever touch me before ? You have never seen me without proper hijab, so what is the sin we are committing?” She asked him and he took a deep breathe.
“The fact that we keep meeting like this is not right, a man and a woman is not meant to be in seclusion without a third party, it is not only your fault we have been doing this , I am to blame as well , we can only keep asking Allah for forgiveness.” He said to her and she sighed deeply.
“Did my Dad said anything that you didn’t tell me?” she asked
“Forget about this and so this might be the last time you will see me here … alone , we can the meeting in your store or your father's house.” He said to her and she sighed further .
“Can I call you …?” She asked him and he nodded .
“I am always at work from 9a.m- 4pm … you should call me within this time.” He said to her and she sighed further deeper without a word, he looked at her for a while , he know he will surely missed her company but he was determined to do the right thing, he had sleepless all through the night as he keep thinking about all the allegations his wife laid on him and he felt bad thinking about all he had done.
“So, I can’t call you at night, you know I will be busy at the store all through the day, I close early because of you so as to prepare dinner, what am I suppose to do?” She asked him but he realized there was no answer required to her questions, so he just keep quiet. She is use to see him every evening and she just didn’t know what to do or say without him, he had been part of her life, she remember how much she cried to sleep every night when he stopped coming after Aziza lost her pregnancy and how he keep rejecting her call.
The last message he sent to her before coming was to notify her that his wife lost her pregnancy.
“I had to tend to her until she is fine.” His message read and that was it. She was worried and try so hard to call him but he didn’t pick her calls and his number stopped going two weeks later and that was when she realized that he had block her from calling him, she was deeply hurt, their relationship was barely six months and she was devastated, she cried so much every night that she fell sick after wards for two weeks after which she paid him a visit at work, at least to see him and know if he is okay.
He was not at work when she got there but the receptionist told her he would come and so she waited for four hours, she was on the verge of leaving when he showed up, he looked shocked to see her, she looked pale and sick.
“Are you sick?” he asked with concern as soon as he led her to his office.
“I just got discharged from the hospital.” She said and what she didn’t tell him was that she was sick because of him.
“So sorry but I hope you are much better now.” He asked and she nodded.
“How is … your wife?” she hate calling her that but yes she is his wife and she is not …
“Alihamdulilah, she regained consciousness last week.” He said
“I don’t know when she will be discharged.” He added.
“We will see each other once she is fine, but you would not see me until she is fine.” He said with a plea in his eyes and she knew he was worried about his wife and she was worried for him too and thus she nodded.
“Take care of yourself too … so that you would not get sick.” She said.
“Can you please unblock me, … at least I can call you to know you are fine.” She said to him and he shook his head.
“No, I can’t , I am sorry, I need all concentration to take care of my wife.” He said to him and she pressed him no further and she did waited until the third month and two weeks when his number showed on her screen and they started where they left. Those were the most difficult part of her life waiting and she know she cannot wait that long anymore, she would lose her sanity.
“It is just for four weeks Sadiqah and I promise, I would not block you from calling this time but please call me only when I am out of the house.” He said.
“Okay.” She said to him and he nodded, he know she is a difficult person but she always reason and listen to him all the time and that was one of those things that made him likes her.
“Thank you.” He said to her
“I will be going soon.” He said to he.
“What about your dinner?” she asked him and he shook his head.
“Keep it in the freezer…” he said
“Until when?” she asked him
“You can eat for me tomorrow.” He said to her.
“To prevent wastage.” He said to her and she was silent
“I am trying to prepare for the journey ahead of us , I need your help too, don’t make me feel bad than I already am.” He said to her
“Okay.” She nodded.
“We have not discussed anything about Mahr.” He said to her and she sighed.
“You have bought a lot for me already last week.” The previous week, he had take her shopping and had spoilt her with gifts, it was her first time of accepting anything from him , she had swore never to accept a gift from him until she got married to him and the only thing he do give her is weekly recharge cards , he just credit her phone without telling her and she do call him with all the call units.
“That is not Mahr.” He said to her.
“So how much can you afford?’ she asked looking at him.
“How much do you want?” he asked her
“How much did you give your wife?” She probed him further and he swallowed hard.
“You can think of it and let me know before the Nikkah.” He said to her and she nodded and watched him raised to his feet.
“Have a nice rest.” He said to her and she nodded.
“Can I call you this night, please.” She plead.
“I will call you once I reach my street ins sha Allah.” He said to her and that ends it as she didn’t utter a word anymore.
As soon as she heard his car drove out of the compound, she sank on the sofa and cry.