"Decisions we regard as little sacrifices or insignificant in our life might just turn out to be the key to our worst reality. When you are in a state of dilemma, turn to Allah, he will show you the way, turn to your parents their advice can never harm you."
"Mairah, the worst decisions I've made in my life were made without due consultation, listen to your elders, the famous saying what an adult sees sitting down, a child cannot see it even if he climbs the tallest iroko tree wasn't just coined out as a result of boredom, it was coined out by someone who has gone through this life, learnt lessons and opted to share with incoming generations.
My first month of marriage went by quickly and I had to go back to school, during this period I had learnt a few things about Amar's family, his father was almost never present, but when he was, he made time for everybody, he made sure to call everyday and catch up with everybody and he was always sending money for their upkeep.
His mother's only concern was him, she didn't give me much attention as he stated that she will due to my condition. She just always made sure to point out that I didn't need to cook as I was always vomiting, and when I said I just wanted to cook for Amar she clearly stated that Amar likes his food as clean as possible so since I was hyper salivating and my vomiting was incessant and unpredictable, its better I stay away from the kitchen."
"Anytime I complained or told her of any pains or abnormalities, "its normal my dear, its your first pregnancy after all, it will come to pass." was always her answer." Nur paused to catch her breath, telling the story was like a rewind of her life and unlike the first time where she didn't know the consequences of her action, now she knew and she couldn't control the dread and regret that was looming over her.
"Inconsiderate much?" Humairah questioned though it was obvious she wasn't looking for an answer, her left eyebrow was raised higher than the right and her eyes squinted showing her anger.
"I think it was indifference coupled with disgust, but I don't blame her even I am disgusted by myself" Nur said, a sad smile on her face.
" Oh come on Nur, we are humans, we all make mistakes,but if she is disgusted, then she should feel the same way for her son too, after all it takes two to tango." Humairah Stated, her voice an octave louder, the anger she had been trying to control threatening to take over.
"Mairah,we are all partial towards our own,and Amar is her only child, it's understandable." Nur replied, the smile still on her face.
"Did you tell Ummah?" Humairah asked.
" I spoke to Ummah everyday on phone but i never told her i had issues. I didn't want to make her worry and though Ummah had forgiven me, I knew the pregnancy was a sensitive topic for her, so I avoided it. She asked me all the time if I was fine or if I was feeling sick but I always told her I was fine, I believed I would be fine."
"I went back to Zaria for my second semester while Amar went to Canada for his results and graduation which will take him a total of 2 months, so for 2 months we weren't going to meet."
He gave me 200,000 for my upkeep,Dad too sent me 50,000. He had promised to take care of my education to any level I wished, despite Amar's father's insistence he still remained adamant so they let him have his way.
A day to the day I was to go to back to Zaria was the day we had our first couple's argument and that too right in front of his Mum . Amar's Dad had just left on a trip to Italy and we had bade him goodbye, as we were all going back inside, Amar's Mum spoke up
"Wow, this house will be lonely by tomorrow."
"Yeah Mum, we'll miss you too, but don't worry Amar will be back in 2 months." I replied trying to comfort her in the little way I thought I could.
"If only I knew what my words were going to cause me I would have kept quiet."
"So you won't come to visit me at all during those 2 months?" She asked her voice holding disbelief.
I was shocked at first, how did she expect me to visit her when I was pregnant and I still had school activities to cope with, so I replied .
"Mum, I would love to but you know Zaria-kaduna road isn't safe and my condition too." I said hoping she will understand.
Amar didn't say anything, he just kept listening to our exchange.
" But come on, I'll be so lonely and it's just an hour journey, you can make it even of it's just twice to accompany me for my checkups." She replied, her voice now low and eager.
"Mum, I swear I will love to but you know how it is but don't worry Mum, I'll tell Ummah to visit you often and inshaa Allah Dad's trip wouldn't be for long this time." I said hoping she would drop the subject, she was already getting on my nerves.
Before she could speak up Amar said
" Jaan, we have a house In samaru, that's where you will stay. I don't want you staying in hostel. Mum, I'll give one of the drivers the address so that he will bring Nur back every month so she will accompany you for your check up".
"Amar, are you going to live with me?" I asked smiling with hope glistening in my eyes, the thought of him staying with me totally made me ignore that I was being forced to travel every month just accompany his mother for her check-ups.
"No way." Amar's Mum whispered shaking her head and her eyes wide as she looked at Amar.
"Mum calm down. Jaan, I'm not going to live with you but I'll come to visit that's why you shouldn't stay in hostel, in our house we'll have privacy." He explained, wiggling his eyebrows.
"Mine" I started with the endearment I knew he loved. "If you are not living with me I won't stay in the house, I'll stay in hostel so when you come, you will pick me and we will go to the house."
"Why? I am doing this for you, you are always vomiting and salivating, your roommates won't like it, you will have the house to yourself, you will have freedom, space and a clean environment unlike your hostel." he ended his sentence making a face of disgust.
"Amar, you don't seem to understand what I need, I need people not some empty house, I am 3 months pregnant and this 2nd semester is 5 to 6 months long, I might give birth In school, any complication can arise. I'll need all the help I can get,so at those moments who will I get assistance from in an empty house, I will have to commute everyday, sometimes as early as 7am do you know how risky it is, what if something happens on the way?" I asked looking straight at him, I was already getting angry at his irresponsible way of thinking.
"Jaan, if its people you need I will send you with one of the maids, there is only one available driver now so I can't send you with him but when I come back I will hire you one as soon as possible." He stated nonchalantly.
I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply,I shouldn't let my anger get the best of me.
"Amar, you are refusing to see my point, I am trying to minimize the danger I have to put our child through. Whether a driver or a maid, it still won't change the fact that I have to commute everyday. It still won't change the fact that if anything happens, I am not close to a hospital, hostel is the safest choice. There I will be surrounded by friends, don't worry I won't lift a thing I will pay the cleaners to do them for me, cooking isn't an issue and my roommates will help me if I am too weak to, If an emergency comes up, it will take one scream to alert people and before you know it, an ambulance will rush me to sick bay. Please Amar understand me, Mum please tell him." I pleaded facing his Mum.
"Nur dear, he is your husband. Obey him, he knows what's good for you." She said as she patted my cheek and made for her room, when she reached the stairs she turned back, a sly smile on her face and said
"Oh Amar, endeavour to tell the driver that he should leave on the last day of the month as the check up is on the first day of the month and I love to go early. Nur please quit the argument, I am a hypertensive patient, disturbance is not good for my health and its really too early to start disobeying your husband."