ISADORA
The water gently caressed my skin. I didn't know what he was doing, but—I could call it him serving me. He was bathing me and carefully cleaning me.
I didn't know how many days he had been doing this.
"I can handle myself, sir," I whispered softly. I couldn't call him Alejandro because... that wasn't his name.
He caressed my belly, and his hand stayed there. I watched his face, and I wasn't sure if it was just my imagination, or if I really saw joy in his eyes.
"I can bathe myself."
"It's my fault you got dirty."
Ah—
I averted my gaze and let him do what he wanted.
What should I feel?
I had no idea. Not a day went by that we didn't... make love. Was I a hypocrite because he had a connection to my deceased brother, yet I allowed us to have this kind of relationship?
And... I was pregnant. I didn't feel any disgust towards the life inside me, but...
"Is it normal for beings like you to have carnal desires?" I asked, looking at him again. "I just noticed."
"You noticed that at any time, I can and want to claim you?"
I nodded.
"You're just so mesmerizing to look at, my love."
He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. "Any scoundrel like me would do all this if given the chance."
I stared at him. "What do you mean?"
"You're so beautiful."
Ah...
He gently let go of my hand. He rose from his kneeling position on the floor and briefly kissed my forehead. "After you, get dressed. They invited us to attend mass." He stood up and left. I was left staring at the water.
Mass.
Was it really a mass, or did they just want to make this man an official?
In the world we lived in, he was a noble. And I knew Andres' father was aware of that.
As in the past days, the surroundings were bright and clear, but the sun wasn't out in the sky. We walked with women alongside their husbands and children, while my arm clung tightly to the arm of the man I could call my partner.
"Calm down, my love," he whispered in my ear. "Praying isn't fatal."
"But I get irritated whenever I hear prayers."
We sat at the very back when we entered the chapel. We positioned ourselves in the dark part, and I felt somewhat relieved because my eyes weren't yet accustomed to the light outside.
Am I really a... monster?
I felt his lips on my forehead. "You're not a monster, Isadora..." he whispered in my ear. His hand rested on my belly. "...But the one you're carrying is."
"He's my child," I said, staring ahead. There was Andres, who I caught looking at us—at me.
I didn't know what he was thinking, but whenever we met, he didn't acknowledge or talk to me. From a distance, he just stared at me. I didn't know if he doubted the sudden appearance of a man in my house, knowing that I didn't easily trust anyone.
Even women, I didn't trust. Andres must have had doubts.
After the mass, there was a meeting where the officials of our place were left. The church; the church was also our government. And as I expected, they wanted to make the man who suddenly appeared in our place an official. They wanted him to handle cases and judge the guilty.
And I? I remained silent. Andres also remained silent. The priest prayed for the man who seemed like a king compared to the other men beside him—he was truly a sight to behold.
Especially when he was in the dark with me—he was truly beautiful.
The sun was setting when the meeting ended. I felt tired, and I was just holding onto his arm as we walked quietly on the silent grass. The wind was strong, and it was beautiful to watch the setting sun from afar.
"You expected this, didn't you?" the man beside me suddenly asked.
"You're wealthy, and they will gradually milk you until you run dry."
Which I knew would never happen because this man wasn't a fool.
"Call me Alejandro, my love. That will be my identity from now on when I show myself to others."
I nodded.
Alejandro.
He chose that name, so maybe I should call him by that name.
I stared at the ground we were walking on, at the green grass. "Alejandro?"
"Hm?"
"Where are your followers?" I looked up at him as we stopped walking. I let go of his arm and stared at his gentle face. The light was hitting the left side of his face, and I could see the natural color of his eyes more clearly, his hair tied behind him, making him look like a prince.
"Do you think I killed them?"
I nodded.
The wind grew stronger. My hair was being blown around, and my clothes were also being swayed by the wind.
"They are free now, Isadora. I didn't kill them. They are living their lives the way they want," he said, smiling slightly. He took my left hand and kissed the back of it. "And we will live our lives the way we want."
When we got home, I closed the windows and doors. After being exposed to the light all day, I longed for the darkness. And besides...
I looked at him—Alejandro, who was just sitting and staring at me. On the table, a single candle provided a small light in the entire area.
I stared at him. His hair remained tied, and I thought it suited him well. I could see his face more clearly.
He moved slightly, lifted the hem of his shirt, and quietly took it off. His smooth skin and perfect body were revealed to me. He leaned back and stared at me again.
"I'm not satisfied with the food I once wanted to eat," I said softly. But he didn't respond. I just swallowed hard and approached his position. When I was in front of him, I was about to sit beside him when he pulled my waist and made me sit on his lap.
I didn't speak. I didn't look him in the eye, knowing he was watching my every move. I just bowed and smelled his neck. I gently tasted his skin, and I knew that between this skin was what my throat craved.
His hands caressed my thighs, gently and with a soft squeeze of my flesh.
"I can't believe someone like you can walk freely in this sacred place," I whispered and hugged his neck slightly.
"Sacred?" he chuckled softly. "My love, if this place were sacred, I would have turned to ashes." His grip on me tightened. "There is nothing sacred in your place, Isadora. Even the crosses and images of the god you believe in will have no effect on a devil like me."
Maybe he was right.
There is nothing sacred in any person in this place.
"Their prayers come from their lying mouths," he whispered and laughed harshly.
"And if I weren't carrying your child, I would be just like them," I replied. "Just another hypocrite who sees herself as holy." I pulled away from him slightly and stared at his face. Again, in the light of the fire, I saw the unusual color of his eyes.
Red. Red like the color of blood. His eyes turned this way whenever we were this close to each other.
He looked up at me and grinned. I could see the tips of his fangs. "You're right, my love. You're just like them. You're also one of those who pretend to be sinless just to ascend to heaven." I leaned down and quickly kissed the corner of his lips.
"You're right, Alejandro. I'm just like them."
"Like the other women here, you are also..." His smile widened, seemingly mocking me, taunting. But there was a different sparkle in his gaze, and I let him mock me—because he was right. I was a hypocrite like them. My soul was also dark, and my spirit was also deceitful.
"...a whore?" I asked softly. His hands on my waist now guided them to the top of my breasts. "Maybe you're right. But my love, you can testify that I'm not a whore to anyone but you."
He was right about everything, and I admitted it now.
The mocking smile disappeared. He quietly removed my dress, and I didn't realize he had cut his wrist and carefully let me drink the blood coming from his wound.
I wouldn't refuse this. I was hungry. Thirsty. Or I could say... we were hungry.
While I quietly drank his blood from his wrist, he bathed my cheek and neck with kisses. "Drink."
I slightly pulled away from his wrist. He leaned down to kiss my lips, and his own blood, which came from my mouth, was left on his lips. "Drink more, my love." He pushed my hair aside and offered me his wrist again, which I couldn't refuse. "Be full, Isadora, because we have a long night ahead."
**********