~~~
As I roam around the hallways while attaching posters on the walls for the imminent affair, Korics abruptly showed up to offer a helping hand. I handed over the stack of posters to him and we both started walking around, still placing the posters on the unoccupied walls. His scent crept seeing he's right next to me, it's not a musky man smell of a perfume though. Instead, it is natural.
All of the juniors looked at Korics in rapt attention and deep emotion as if they're witnessing a sight of something extraordinary. This isn't new to him anymore, every time we happen to cross this part of the building the younger students always stare at him as if he's the only good-looking guy in the university. He does look quite fair, but not too much for me to react like the others.
"He's so cute."
"How could someone look so good?"
"Are they dating?"
"I don't know, but they look good together."
Gossips everywhere, the whispers were somehow loud enough for me to hear. I averted my gaze towards Korics, who seems to be enjoying the adoration. When we finished attaching a few posters left on the walls, both of us immediately rushed to the lecture room. They were already starting with the attendance.
"Miss Elviera, Mister Villaverde, where were you?" Miss Ram del Carmen asks, she's our lecturer for this subject, Korics and I took our seats and started telling her how we're preparing for the S.U fundraiser event. "Our school board decided to move the S.U fundraiser next week, the week after that is a break for both teachers and students."
Upon hearing this, I felt pressure. Meaning there's too much to bundle up within this week and there's a need to adjust many schedules and rehearsals. I started to overthink about contacting the people we hired and the food stall owners about having to speed up the preparations so everything could work the next week. We still have time today, and five more days to prepare. What's the worst that could happen?
"Pst, Sav." Venylie tugged on my shirt, when I faced her, I could clearly see the excitement in her eyes. "Let's start planning later. Theia offered to call the food stall owners so you wouldn't worry about doing so. All you need to do is fix the decorations while Vry and I design the stage."
"I'll help you Savelle." Says Korics, I nodded and we all concluded with the arrangements. After the first period, we were all excused so we'd have all the time we need to prepare. We're in the school's veranda and Theia started calling the food stall owners. "Sav, let's decorate this Sunday? We should focus more on the performances. Why don't you contact that Gaeb."
"Geab?" Ameelya asks with confusion present in her tone.
"Gaeb." She stayed silent, and still confused. "He's a student from Wright High. Missis Vaun introduced him to me yesterday, he's going to perform in the fundraiser."
"His name has "handsome" written all over it." Vrylle enters the conversation, and we all laughed at her little comment. "Is he really handsome, Rox?"
"Yes—"
"I'm more handsome." I got cut off because of Korics, we all looked at him after he sounded so serious. He just sat there, staring down on his notes with a smirk emplaced on his face. "He doesn't stand a chance against me."
I chose to disregard that, instead I messaged everyone who claimed to perform in the event so they could start rehearsing on the stage later after class. For some unspecified reasons, I have this feeling in my chest that I couldn't shake off. I feel bothered and I can't explain why. Maybe it's stress? It's been a while, the way I convince myself that it's just stress whenever I feel as if something bad is going to happen. It's the pressure.
For many years, I've been hard on myself and I grew up to be a perfectionist towards anything and everything that I do. I can't afford the thought of failing, and I blame them for every time I felt that way. I'm afraid that I might disappoint everyone, especially them. Scared to end up as a failure, I push myself to do my best no matter how hard I struggled. Although I understand where they're coming from, I couldn't process why it's so hard for me.
Maybe I'm not just doing this to prove them wrong, but doing this to prove to myself that I'm not a failure and I will never end up as one. I kept myself and my life in a pattern, and everyday is a routine. The only goal, is to never be a failure and always do better.
"Sav? Are you feeling well?" I got back to my senses when Vry asked that, I was so caught up with my thoughts I forgot that we were planning for the fundraiser. "Sav?"
"I'm okay." I simply responded, but it looks like Vry doesn't believe me.
"You're lying." She says, Venylie and Theia started laughing. "What's funny?"
"Nothing, future psychologist." Ameelya says with a smile on her face.
"Of course, I'm claiming that." Vry proudly says, and we all clapped to show our support. Everyone looks so happy, I hope my negative thoughts and uneasy feelings aren't contagious. "So, rehearsals later? Rox, call Gaeb and I'll call the other performers."
I stood in the corner of the veranda as I try to message Gaeb in Instagram, when he finally replied, I asked if I could call him and he said yes. As I wait for Gaeb to pick up the phone, I catch Korics staring at me with his blank stare through my peripheral vision.
"Hello president Elviera." I can hear him chuckle on the other line.
"Mister Flores." I laughed. "I have something to tell you."
"And what's that?"
"The event is moved to next week. So you should probably start rehearsing. If it's okay with you, you can come here in Sapient University this afternoon to start practicing."
"I don't need to practice." We both laughed. Korics is still staring at me. "Nah I'm just kidding. Yeah sure, see you later president Elviera."
"See you, Mister Flores." Then I hung up.
"What were you laughing about?" Korics asked in a serious tone when I approached them.
"Nothing important. It was just Gaeb." I shrugged earning an eye roll from him.
"Wow, handsome and has good sense of humor." Venylie teased, I laughed as I smacked her arm jokingly. Everybody started laughing too, well everybody except Kor. "Someone's jealous..."
"I'm not. Ew." Korics replied, Venylie stared at him with one of her eyebrows up. "What?"
"I didn't mention any names, Kor." We all laughed in sync. I started teasing Korics then we went back to planning for the event and I waited for Gaeb to arrive.
We left the veranda and headed to the cafeteria to eat lunch and Ameelya offered to pay for the food this time. The girls from the table in front of us kept eyeing Korics, which made me feel uncomfortable for some reason. When Vry and Amee are finish buying food, we all started to eat while still discussing about the event. We were having fun, and then I got a message from Gaeb.
"Sav, I'm in the waiting shed. Where r u?"
"In the cafeteria, come here."
Shortly after that, I could see Gaeb walk his way towards our table while waving at me. He is quite a charmer, tall, fair skinned, and evidently has great taste in fashion. Based on what I see, he's wearing a button down black shirt and white slacks, he also has a black cap on. When he arrived, the girls stared at him in awe. Korics just stared at him, no emotions at all.
"Sup, I'm Gaeb." He sat beside me, the sitting arrangement was Korics on my left side and Gaeb on my right side. Ameelya stared at Gaeb in shock, I could tell because the minute he took his cap off and his face was more visible, Amee's lips parted probably out of getting overwhelmed. "Gaeb Flores of Wright High."
"So Gaeb, this is Korics." I started introducing everyone to him. "Then this is Vrylle, Venylie, Nettheia and Ameelya."
"Ameelya?" He stared at her for a long time and Amee was just staring down on her food, avoiding his gape. "Trix Vison?"
"It's actually Triz, and wow you know each other?" Vry interrupted, Venylie pushed her a little. "Oh gosh."
"Wow, small world huh." Gaeb's smirk grew wider, and Ameelya started to turn a bit red. She suddenly stood up and walked away. "Hey!"
"I don't know you."
Because of the situation in the cafeteria, we all proceeded to the gymnasium where the stage is being set and the other junior students are rehearsing, I gave Gaeb a little tour but surprisingly he knew the ways around the school.
Gaeb started rehearsing and we were all astounded by his singing, he is such a great singer! Made me more excited for the fundraiser event and for all of the performances, I moved closer to Korics who's obviously distancing himself from me ever since Gaeb showed up. Just look at this guy.
"Hey, Kor you alright?" I asked, he just smiled at me and moved a bit closer too. Then he placed his hand on top of my head. "Is something wrong dude?"
"Hmm, I think I should be the one asking you that." He says. "Are you okay Sav?"
No, I'm not.— I wanted to tell him that, but I chose to stay quiet. I know I'm not okay, but I still try to convince myself that I am. I'm just mentally tired, always. I'm sick of saying that, lying about what I feel because I don't want people to sympathize me and I don't want anyone to feel any mere pity over me. I can't even bear the thought of opening up, but I can't hide what I feel always.
Is it coming back? My childhood traumas were still present, and in the words of the people that helped me, I had to live with the trauma. Everything felt traumatic, especially the adrenaline rushing through my veins because I can't shake off the fear that this event might fail. I might disappoint them again.
"Savelle?" I got back to my senses, again. This has been happening a lot today, me losing focus from time after time. "Gaeb's done rehearsing."
"Gaeb thank you so much for being understanding. You can rehears again tomorrow, if you want to." I said, everyone started going home and only a few of us were left in the university. "Hey Gaeb, I have a question. Why are you studying in Wright High while Gav's studying here?"
"I'd rather not tell." He said, Korics and I were confused. "And if I did want to tell anything, let's just say I will never forgive myself if I chose to study in Sapient University."
Gaeb waved goodbye to us, and after cleaning the mess in the gymnasium and putting the props back to the storage we all started to go home. Vrylle and Venylie are in the library, Theia has a family dinner and Ameelya is nowhere to be found. So it was only me and Korics left.
"Kor, I already called a cab. I'll go home okay? Bye." I walked to the gate so I could wait for the cab to pull up there, Korics was following me so I turned back to talk to him. "Yes? Did you bring your motorcycle dude? Or let's just ride a cab."
"Cancel the cab you booked." He says with a smile on his face, he looks so great whenever he smiles. A scenery, ravishing like a work of art. A rare scene to watch, sometimes I wonder how he looks at me. I wonder what he thinks every time he looks at me. "I have my motorcycle with me, I'll take you home but first let's go somewhere else."
"Another one of your whereabouts?" I asked while we are on our way to where he parked his motorcycle. "Kor, where are you going to take me?"
"Don't worry dude, just chill." He handed me his other helmet and he even helped me wear it. I shot up and sat in the back, I circled my arms around him so I won't fall in case he shows off and drives a bit faster than usual. "I'm a safe driver Miss Savelle Roxia, nothing to worry about."
"Okay, Korics Lource. If this isn't one of your whereabouts, where exactly are you taking me?" I asked before he drives off.
"Somewhere you'll feel safer." I was disarrayed.
"Safer?"
"Somewhere you'd feel safer to open up. I want you to feel better, and the only way for that to happen is for you to get that off your chest."
"Awe Kor, you don't have to do that dude. I swear I'm going to be alright." I felt touched, this is what I lacked. I never had this kind of support system, Vrylle is busy and she has her own problems to deal with so I didn't bother telling her even if I know she's already picking up some vibes. When Kor asked if I was okay I already felt a sting in my heart because I know I wasn't. It's great that he's making an effort, I felt validated. "Thank you."
"I don't have to, but I want to, because I care."
~~~