Chapter 6
Days had passed since that day. I haven’t seen the Alpha since that day and I don’t know what or how to feel, should I feel relieved or should I miss him. Everything is now messy as it is.
Today is Saturday and I don’t have a work, today and tomorrow, as a reward to myself, I bought cans of beer to at least to lessen the pain that I am feeling since that day.
The pain seems to grow day by day. The pain of being rejected, the pain of not having a family to lean on, especially during the time like this, and the pain of being alone.
Thinking about the things I am disappointed makes me want to be drown in liquor. I am not a drinker but it feels like I can drink a sea of tequila.
I am so disappointed to myself. I just met him and I act like I’ve been with him since we were young. There are a lot of things I’ve been thinking that I didn’t even notice that I already finished the beer that I bought.
I was so disappointed, this time in the beer. I want to drink more but I don’t have any beer left. I just saw myself in front of a well-known bar with a tight silver dress that hugs my body well. The dress is three inches above the knee and has a slit on its right leg.
I walked through the bar and it excite me when I hear the booming music that makes my energy boost.
I make my way to order some drinks before dancing, I want to be drown on liquor to the point that I will just forget my name . I want to be happy, at least tonight, without even thinking of the things that keeps on haunting me.
I missed my mother, my father and the old me, I missed my family. I have a simple life, before, I might not have a job that pays well, but at least I am contented and happy.
Who wouldn’t happy if everyone you love and everything you need is right beside you?
When the alcohol hits me, I started walking in the middle of the dance floor while moving my hips, not minding the eyes that keep on staring at me.
I dance like my life depends on it. I’ve been swaying my hips while waving my hands up and sometimes touching my body like someone is watching me.
“Hey” I stiffed when I heard a baritone voice.
Veiny arms snaked through my waist and pulled me towards him. I can feel him sniffing my hair before putting his head in the crook of my neck.
I didn’t notice that I stopped dancing and my breath hitched when he started planting tiny kisses on my neck.
I turned my body around to look at the guy who makes me feel something that I haven’t feel before.
I was shocked when I saw the Alpha in front of me. My eyes almost fall when he suddenly kissed me. The kiss was slow for a moment and it became aggressive as the time passed by. He kisses me like there is no tomorrow, not minding the crowd that surrounds us.
It is my first time that somebody finally dares to kiss me, so I don’t know how to respond. I just keep my mouth shut and my eyes open wide when he stop and make a little smile.
I was about to shout at him when he grab my hand and walked out of the club. Maybe it’s the alcohol that I don’t even object at whatever he was doing. He opens the door of his car and let me in. Another minute, I just saw myself kissing him with my hands on his nape.
He was kissing me with his hand on my waist and the other is in my nape. I don’t even know where I am but what important at the moment is what I am doing, what we are doing.
I just realize that I am already lying on his bed with him on top of me.
I woke up when I feel like there is something above my waist. I feel uncomfortable so I open my eyes and look at it. I was shocked when I noticed that I am not on my room.
What makes me more surprised is the arm on my waist that tells me I am not alone in this bed. I lift the arm and slowly get up on the bed. I went stilled when I felt the pain in between my thighs and I am not even wearing anything except for the big t-shirt that I assume, belongs to this man.
“Oh my!” I whisper to myself. I covered my mouth to avoid unnecessary noises.
I glance at the man who I shared the night with. I hitched my breath when I saw the Alpha sleeping comfortably on the bed facing the opposite side of where I slept.
I was frightened when I saw the Alpha in the bed with me, I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to ruin their relationship.
Because of the situation, I choose to leave the man I love even if I don’t want to.
I walk out of the building even if it hurts between of my thigh and my body is aching to have some rest. I don’t want to hear what he will say to me.
I am sure, he will tell me not to take it seriously and not to tell anyone about what happened. It will hurt me.
I was waiting for a taxi when I saw a woman stepped out of her car, the girlfriend is here. Luckily, I get up earlier before she could even see us.
I stand there, unable to walk like the last time I saw them. I am doing my best to stop my tears from falling. I maybe a martyr but I won’t, consciously, do something that will hurt other people, especially that girl who do nothing wrong to me.
I don’t want him to cheat just because of me, I can feel that they really love each other and I will just hinder their love story. This is not my story, I guess.
I watch her as she enter the building. Even the guard already knows her.
I wipe the tears that unconsciously falling from my cheek. Am I too hard on myself that I don’t mind even if I am hurting?
I come home without even being aware. I just saw myself lying on my bed, looking at the ceiling of my room, consistently looking at nothing
I can’t help but to cry silently.
I took a bath after a while. I spend hours there, cleaning myself up and thinking of the next thing that I should so.
I just realize that it is almost time to go to the company. So I prepare myself up even if my body hurts, my work shouldn’t be affected of my personal problems.
I entered the elevator while walking unevenly.
The CEO is still not on his office when I arrive so I still have time to prepare myself. I compiled the papers and prepared all the things that he will need in the meetings.
After the work, I went straight to my house. I haven’t seen the Alpha so I guess that what happened last night don’t bother him.
I guess I am just a page to his book, I laughed bitterly at the thought.
I want to forget what happened last night and at the same time I want to treasure it.
Days had passed and slowly, my life becomes better even without the help of my family.
I am preparing for the business trip that we will attend. My boss will definitely need me there so he asked me to come with him. It is a three-day business trip so I decided to prepare the things that I will use and sleep early.