I was blankly staring at the ceiling of my room—feeling nervous and guilty at the same time. Hanggang sa marinig ko ang ingay mula sa baba, hudyat na dumating na sila Daddy.
Kamusta na kaya si Elisse? Kasama na ba nila umuwi? Dahan-dahan akong naglakad papalapit sa pintuan at binuksan ito ng kaunti. I just heard Tita Ysabelle and my Dad's voice getting nearer, kaya agad kong isinarado ang pinto.
I sighed in relief but then it was interrupted by a knock outside my door.
"Claire?" I heard my Dad call.
Bigla akong nakaramdam ng kaba sa dibdib at bahagyang lumayo sa pinto. I wasn't planning on opening the door when he called me again.
Nanginginig ko itong binuksan at bumungad sa akin ang seryoso niyang mukha. He looked so tired.
"D-Dad… "
"Let's talk, " he said and walked inside my room.
Nakita kong umupo siya sa kama ko at nang sinalubong niya ang tingin ko ay yumuko ako. I feel ashamed of what happened. Although it's not my fault, I am still accountable.
"Is it true?" pagbasag ni Daddy sa katahimikan.
"D-Dad, I'm sorry. I s-swear I didn't intend to do that. Pinagtutulungan nila ako kanina kasi balak kong umalis but then they locked me inside my room. T-Tapos humarang silang dalawa sa pinto kaya naitulak ko sila and—"
"Don't lie to me, Claire!" He cut me off.
I blinked my eyes a few times—shocked by his sudden raise of voice. For the first time in my life, my father shouted at me.
"Dad, anong ibig mong sabihin? I am telling the truth, " nanghihina kong sagot.
I felt like I wanted to cry but I acted brave in front of him. Bakit ako nalang ang laging agrabyado sa pamilyang 'to?
"Elisse told me everything. From the way you scratch her hand until you push her down on the stairs, " he said.
Gulat akong tumingin sa kanya pagkatapos kong marinig ang lahat ng sinabi niya. What the hell? So they want me to be the liar here? And here I am feeling guilty of what happened.
"Hindi gano'n 'yong nangyari, Dad. I told you everything pero ayaw niyo pa rin maniwala sa akin. Sabagay kailan nga ba kayo nakinig? It's always Elisse and Tita Ysabelle that matters to you the most," aniya ko na may halong galit.
Since my mother left us and he became married again, para nalang akong naging bula sa paningin niya. He always side with Elisse and I will be left all alone craving for his attention.
Hindi ko man gustuhin umiyak ay hindi ko na napigilan ang mga luhang kumawala sa mata ko. I looked at him with the pain visible on my eyes.
"Dad, anak mo rin ako. Can you just believe me once? You really think I can do that?" I said without looking away at him.
His appearance was slowly getting blurry because of tears but I didn't bulge. Nakita ko kung paano siya umiwas ng tingin sa akin at tumayo.
"I never thought you could do that. But looking at things right now?" He shook his head. "Elisse wouldn't lie in that state. So how could you say you're not lying to me? Do not leave this house until I say so," he firmly said and walked away.
I sadly smiled. "You didn't even bother to hear me out."
Para akong binabasag sa loob sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman ko. It is really true that kung sino pa 'yong taong mahal mo sila pa yong unang mananakit sayo. Why do I feel so neglected?
Nang makaalis si Daddy ay agad akong humiga sa kama para iiyak ang sakit. Ito na naman tayo. He's choosing his second family over me. The pain was so excruciating that I didn't notice I fell asleep.
Naalimpungatan lang ako nang marinig kong tumunog ang cellphone ko. It's Alexa.
"Hey, akala ko ba aalis tayo? I've been waiting for you kanina pa. Pinagpapawisan na ulit ako, " reklamo nito sa kabilang linya.
I sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Lex. May emergency lang kanina dito sa bahay. And… grounded ako ni Dad."
"What? Why? May ginawa na naman ba sayo 'yang demonyita mong kapatid?"
Hindi na ako naglihim pa at sinabi sa kanya ang buong nangyari. After all siya lang naman din ang mapagsasabihan ko.
"What the hell?! At ikaw pa talaga ang may kasalanan ngayon? And seriously, naniniwala si Tito sa kanila?" naiinis nitong sabi.
"Yeah, " I answered. Kahit ako naman hindi makapaniwala na ako ang sinisisi ni Dad sa nangyari. Pero ano bang magagawa ko? They are more important than me. Dahil sa naiisip ko ay may kung anong sumigid na kirot sa puso ko. Kung nandito lang si Mommy siguro ayos pa ang lahat. I wouldn't experience living life like hell.
After the call with Alex ay naghalf-bath ako para bumaba. I looked at the clock on my table and saw that it's already past 8 in the evening. I softly opened the door and tiptoed downstairs. Ayokong may makarinig sa akin at baka mamaya ay makasabay ko pa si Tita Ysabelle.
Nagmamadali akong tumungo sa kusina at nang makitang walang tao roon ay agad akong kumuha ng pagkain. I don't plan on eating here in the kitchen myself. I'm sure Tita Ysabelle will come down here later and maabutan niya ako. Baka kung ano pa ang mangyari at pag initan niya ako.
Nang masiguradong madami na ang nakuha ko ay umakyat kaagad ako sa kwarto ko at nilock ang pinto. Dahil wala rin naman akong magawa ay binuksan ko ang TV.
Habang kumakain ay nanonood ako. Pero hindi pa ako nangangalahati sa pinapanood ko ay narinig ako ingay mula sa baba. Akala ko no'ng una ay galing 'yon sa TV pero nang hinaan ko ang volume ay saka ako nakasigurado na galing nga ito sa baba. It was Tita Ysabelle.