"Do you have a boyfriend, Natasha?" Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay ate Serafine.
Ngumiti ako at pinanood siyang tumutungga ng wine.
Nasa rooftop kami ng mansion ngayon. May pagdiriwang naman kaya’t pinayagan ni lolong mabuksan ang pinto patungo dito. Ngayon ay natatanaw ko na ang mga tao sa baba.
I took a deep sigh and look away from her.
"I don't have, ate," I answered.
"Why don’t you get a boyfriend? When I was on your age, I already have six exes," We laugh about she've said.
Yea, knowing ate Serafine, a wild badass when it comes to love. I wonder why she don’t have a boyfriend today. Mukhang natamaan siya ng todo sa huling boyfriend niya. She have no plan to move on fast. Hindi gaya ng mga nauna niyang boyfriend na isang linggo palang yata ay nalimutan niya na.
"Sakit lang sila sa ulo, ate. I'll rather be single than making a toxic relationship with them," opinyon ko na tinalbugan niya naman ng isang bigating salita.
"Just say the words, Natasha. Say that you’re fragile! Marupok ka, kaya ka natatakot makipagrelasyon at baka hindi mo na mapakawalan." Her guffaw maybe heard by universe. Masyado siyang mapang-asar.
"Hey! Wag mo na ipagsigawan!" I uttered and laugh.
That’s the fact. I am fragile when it comes to love and that fragile may proclaim frailty. I don’t want them to know that side of mine!
"You must show how powerful you are, Natasha. You must show how manipulative you are, that you can hypnotize them with your charm. Don’t be such a kind and gentlewoman! Paiyakin mo sila, hindi ikaw ang iiyak!"
"You know that I never cried for man, ate! I won’t cry for them just because I got hurt. They aren’t worth it for my tears!" Kinuha ko ang wine sa aking likuran at nagsalin ng wine sa aking wine glass.
"It defends on the person you'll inlove with, babe. Tears will obtrude for the person worth for it. Kahit gaano ka pa niya nasaktan, kung minahal ka niya ng tunay, tutulo at tutulo ang luha mo para sa kaniya. You can’t say that you truly loved that person if there’s no tears protrude on your eyes even such a single drop." She took a deep sigh and looked at me with a genuine smile.
"That was base of my experience, Natasha. Just don’t waste your time and tears to someone who doesn’t worth for it," she said.
I have two exes. Sa kaso ko kase, ako ang nakipagbreak dahil lang nawalan ako ng gana. I loose the thrill for them. Maybe I’m just bored.
How could you know, if that person is worth it for your time and tears? How could you know if he’s the one who can love you…truly? Sabi ni ate Serafine ay mararamdaman mo iyon sa iyong sarili mismo. Sa ngayon ay wala akong nararamdamang ganun at hinihiling kong di ko na iyon maramdaman.
To the person who’s worth it for my tears, I wish we won’t meet. Sana hindi kita makilala. I don’t want to cry-yea I'm not ready to cry… just because of you. Not now, not tomorrow, not soon, never!
"Ate Serafine! Bumaba na kayo at magsisimula na sa pagsasalita si lolo," Kuya Meican yelled on us.
Nagkatinginan lang kami ni ate Serafine tsaka tumayo’t nagsimula nsng bumaba ng hagdan.
Lolo’s voice echoed on the whole mansion. Sa tingin ko ay nasa taas lamang sila ngayon ng hagdan. When we finally reach the secomd floor, I watch how tito Meican and mama walk down the wide and circular stairs.
"This is my younger daughters, Renalia and Victoria," he said and my two aunts walk down the stairs.
They where so elegant tonight. Lalo na si mama na suot ang paborito niyang gold silky evening dress.
I'm wearing a maroon open shoulder maxi dress. Lola prepared it for me, since lagi niya iyong ginagawa.
"My grandson, Meican Drichannes and her two sisters, Serafine and Zelene!"
The three sibling walks down the stairs. Kuya Meican escorted her ate Serafine. Katulad ko ay naka-Moroon turtleneck backless dress si ate Serafine. Her glamour was so stunning! Zelene smiled at me and walks down.
"Zsol Natasha, my Verene's daughter,"
When I began to motion my feet down the first stare, I saw the two Mathadeus down their, looking at me exclusively. Si zahir ang bumaling ng tingin sa kaniyang katabi na si Zin.
I was ambling on steping…down the stairs. Zad never hesitate to gaze on me. Parang ang bagal ng segundo. Parang ang hirap gumalaw ng aking paa.
In my own sight, I saw how Zelene went on him and planted a specious kiss on his right cheek. Dahil dun ay nawala ang kaniyang paninitig sa akin at bumaling sa pinsan kong niyayakap siya ngayon.
I move my feet fastly when I step on midst of staircase. Mas binilisan ko na ang pagbaba ng hagdan. That was the thing I supposed to do lately, but my mind suddenly got chaos and halt my brain to think what I ought to do. Natatanga ako!
"You look uneasy, Natasha. Para kang nakakakita ng multo!" bigla akong siniko ni mama.
Napatingin ako sa kaniya ng wala sa sarili. "Huh?" That’s the only word I pronounced. Dahil dun ay kinurot niya ako. Napahalinghing nalang ako sa sakit at sinimangutan siya.
"Okey lang ako, ma!" I proclaimed.
Nagsalita si kuya Meican sa harap matapos ng kay lolo. About business lang naman din yun kaya wala sa tenga ko ang nakinig.
Nang hanapin ko si ate Searafine ay may kausap na siyang kakilala malapit sa pinto. I look around the house. Iilan nalang ang tao sa labas dahil nasa loob silang lahat. Nang makalapit ako sa mahabang lamesa ay natagpuan ng aking mata si Aziel. Kumaway ako dito ng nakangiti. He smiled back.
He’s wearing a black coat and black laso for tonight. May katabi siyang babae. She’s wearing a silver silky spaghetti strap dress. May hawak itong champagne.
"Good evening. Sabi na nga ba’t makikita kita dito." I preambled.
"Ahm, Hi! You look elegant…surprisely hot, Zsol Natasha! Hindi ka parin nagbabago." I chuckled of what he have said.
"At hanggang ngayon, parang di mo parin ako alam idescribe!" Tawa ko.
"Nice meeting you, Natasha." the girl from next to him offered her hand.
"Nice meeting you too…am, your name?" I ask.
"Zilluenxia," she answered.
"Nice meeting you, Zilluenxia." I smiled.
"By the way, Natasha this is my cousin, Zillu this is Natasha. Am…my ex-I mean-"
"Yung nagreject sa ‘yo?" I agressively guffawed. Si Zillu ang nagsalita at binara si Aziel.
The story behind how I reject Aziel opened. Yan ang pinag-usapan namin habang nasa harap ng mga pagkain, usually, near the alchocol drinks. Tumagal kami doon ng trenta minutos.
When Zilluexia found some friends around to talk, she leave us their with a geniune smile and goodbyes.
Nang kami nalang ni Aziel ang nandun ay tila walang gustong magtangkang magsalita. I drink the last swallow champagne on my wine glass and put another batch of wine on it. Ubos na ang laman ng isang bote.
"Do you have boyfriend, now?" he suddenly broke the silence between us.
"I don’t have," sagot kong hindi tumitingin sa kaniya.
I know that he’s staring at me. I can sense it. I can see him in my peripheral vision.
I heard him chuckled. "Sabi na nga ba. I know that no one hits your standars until now!" he said.
"Ikaw? Do you have girlfriend?" ako naman ngayon ang nagtanong.
"Wala." he simply answered.
Napalingon na lamang ako sa kaniya. "You have change a lot, Aziel. It’s the best time for you to have a girlfriend! Ngayon ka na manligaw kase hindi ka na tulad ng dati." opinyon ko tsaka siya pinagtaasan ng kilay.
"Yes, I change a lot. I change for someone who rejected me, years ago. I don’t wanna feel rejected again, Natasha." Napalunok ako’t napatingin sa kaniya. "I made myself more fine than your ideal man. Ginawa ko ang sarili ko na kayang higitan ang standards mo."
Napaawang na lamang ang aking bibig sa kaniyang mga tinuran. After how many years, I thought people forgot who I am. I almost forget all of them. Pero andito ako ngayon, nakaupo sa tabi ng lalaking kailan man ay hindi ako kinalimutan at umaasa parin sa paglipas ng panahon.
The truth is, I have no standards about men. I just looking for someone who can badly hit my senses. The one who’s worth it for my love and tears. But unluckily, I pledged myself to avoid the loophole of meeting him. I don't wanna cry.
"Maybe-"
"They are looking for you, there…" A cold and baritone voice halted me from talking.
Nag-angat ako ng tingin. Ang walang emosyon mukha ni Magnus ang aking nakita. Nakapamulsa ito sa aming harapan at pormal na nakatingin kay Aziel.
He's wearing a black coat for tonight. Wala itong kaarcho-archo sa katawan ngunit mukha paring mamahalin. Ni wala man lang laso o neck tie. Good thing, walang sira ang mukha niya.
I swallowed. Nagiging kunot noo na kase sila sa isa’t isa.
I held my wine glass and stand firmly. I turned my gaze to Aziel and smiled at him. "Mauuna na ako. See you around..Aziel." I wink and began to move may feet away from them.
Nang lingunin ko sila ay mayabang suminghap si Zad at tinalikuran si Aziel dun. Mabilis ang paglakad ni Zad palapit sa akin. When he finally reached me, pulled me closer to him and glided his hands on my waist.
Nang ibalik ko ang aking paningin kay Aziel palayo….ay parang nawalan ito ng pag-asa.