Asher looked up and met Cailen's cerulean eyes.
He smiled shyly at Cailen and he didn't blame him because he knew he was staring but he couldn't pull his eyes from him.
"Hey, Cai." Asher said awkwardly with a small wave.
Cailen really had to pull it together. He knew that but he couldn't believe this was Asher. He couldn't believe this was little scrawny Asher. Asher that begged him to tell on the bullies in school. Asher who cries at Toy Story, every time.
Asher who always made sure to include Cailen at the parties he was invited to. He couldn't believe this was Asher.
"Jesus, what's in the water here?" Cailen joked, trying to cover up his utter shock and possible drool. All four boys chuckled at Cailen, even Noah who really didn't know him. "I should have stuck around. I seemed to have missed the puberty bus." Cailen joked, looking down at his small frame.
"Don’t worry. You’re cuter than all of them combined." Noah said. Cailen smiled at him and stepped closer to the boy, slinging his arm over his shoulder, despite the height discrepancy.
Damn. They’re all taller than him, it’s not fair.
"I like him." Cailen declared, earning a chuckle from each of them.
"Hey, where's my hug?" Asher asked quietly, making Cailen remember just how polite Asher is.
Even when demanding something, even if it is a hug, he still did it in a quiet manner with no real conviction behind his words- only hope. Cailen dropped his arm from around Noah and stepped toward Asher, tip-toeing and wrapping him up in a hug.
"Jesus, where's my little puppy? You're too big to hug." Cailen teased.
Really, Cailen loved how big he's gotten. He actually enjoyed the way Asher sort of surrounded him.
"I'm still your little puppy, I've just grown up." Asher replied, still holding onto him.
"That's what everyone keeps saying..." Cailen grumbled. He felt Asher chuckle more than he heard him.
"Well, that's what happens when you disappear for two years." William said jokingly though Cailen could hear the hurt in his voice.
He was a horrible brother, he decided. He should have come home. To hell with his mask. He had hurt William and that was just not okay.
"I'm sorry, but I'm home now... I get points for that, right?" Cailen asked hopefully as he pulled away from Asher but making sure to not step too far away.
He always had a weird connection with Asher. It was not the same connection he had with William but it was something... He couldn’t quite put a finger to it.
Asher was always there when Cailen needed help no matter what it was. Asher always seemed to just know when he needed a break from people or when he needed to be around people.
Cailen didn't quite understand it. That's just how it was. He didn't even know if Asher knew that he did that, but he was thankful either way.
"Depends... How long are you staying?" William asked, folding his arms over his chest and giving Cailen a look that said if he says anything less than three weeks, he will probably be shunned.
The actual time frame of Cailen's visit had yet to be decided but coming home now and seeing everyone and realizing just how much he had missed them decided for him.
"Until school starts up again," Cailen said and smiled as William's face lit up.
Two months.
Cailen had just agreed to spending two months at home where he'd have to lie most of the time about himself, because surely those questions will come up. Questions like, 'got any girls back at Uni?' or 'are the girls there really as fun as they seem in movies?' and normally those questions would be fine. They were expected and Cailen should have an answer for them.
But he doesn’t have.
Cailen didn't have a girlfriend at Uni, he didn't know what the girls were like there because he never tried to pull any of them. He never tried because he wasn't interested.
He had found this out around the age of fifteen in the boy’s locker room and has been hiding it ever since.
Cailen was gay.
Cailen was gay and not one single person knew about it.
He's too afraid to tell anyone, he was afraid they'd reject him like all those families before. He knew that's what they all saw in him and that's why they didn't want him.
He knew if he came out, Eden and Dean would disown him. The proof was in the families that saw it in him beforehand and got rid of him before they had to deal with it.
Cailen couldn't tell Eden and Dean because that's not the kid they adopted and he wasn't going to ruin this.
He loved his family and he couldn't live without them, even if that meant not being around them much or even being himself around them.
Even if it meant he'd never be able to introduce them to one of his boyfriends and that probably meant he'd never seriously be with anyone.
But that was okay. He'd rather have his family.
It's the one thing he grew up desperately wanting and he wasn't throwing it away now.
*****
Later that evening, when Cailen made his rounds, greeting and catching up with the people he knew and William introducing him to the people he didn't, Cailen found himself in the kitchen, needing a break from socializing and trying to be 'the funny guy' and making everyone laugh.
Not that he didn't like making people laugh, but there was a lot of people in there and it became exhausting after a while.
In the kitchen were the remains of the dinner Eden had cooked, leftovers stacked neatly on the counter, the dirty dishes overflowing in the sink.
Cailen didn't even want to think about who was going to have to wash all those. Surely they wouldn't make their son that just came home wash all those dishes.
"You always did like your alone time." Came a voice, startling Cailen away from where he was leaning on the counter.
Asher smiled at Cailen, obviously catching the fact that he scared him but was probably too afraid of offending him to tease him about it. Good old Asher.
"Just need a break." Cailen said quietly, watching as Asher came to join him, both of them leaning back against counter, side by side.
Asher nodded, seeming to understand like he always did. Asher crossed his arms over his chest and Cailen couldn't help but notice a dark something on his forearm.
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion because there was no way Asher Hale got a tattoo.
"What is that?" Cailen questioned, pushing himself off the counter again so he could stand in front of Asher and examine his arm.
Asher unfolded his arm and allowed Cailen to maneuver it so he could see. Four dark arrows made their way up his arm, reminding Cailen of the speed booster lines in Mario Kart.
"Sick." Cailen mumbled as he examined the arrows.
"Mom let me get it as a graduation present." Asher explained and when Cailen looked up at him, he could see the faint pink tinge in his cheeks. Cailen smiled at him.
"Yeah? Still have to ask mommy for permission?" Cailen teased because he really wasn't afraid to be an ass.
The blush in Asher's cheeks brightened and Cailen struggled for a word to describe him that wasn't adorable or cute. He failed.
"M'not eighteen yet, Cai. Needed her legal consent." Asher mumbled, pulling his arm away and ducking his head.
Definitely adorable.
"Ah, right. Always the youngest of the group." Cailen teased some more.
William and Matthew's birthdays were earlier on in the year and Asher's wasn't until the end of August.
"Not anymore. Noah's birthday is a couple weeks after mine." Asher defended himself.
"Oh? Is he part of your little group now?" Cailen asked. Asher nodded, frowning slightly.
"He's part of OUR group, Cai. You need to stop cutting yourself out." Asher said sternly.
Cailen ignored this because he always did when Asher tried to tell him they were all best friends, as if they weren't only putting up with him because of William. He knew that's why they were friends with him. Because of William.
"Is he a good guy?" Cailen asked even though he already knew the answer.
If the Scottish lad were a jerk, they wouldn't be friends with him and Cailen could tell from what little time he's spent with the lad that he was at least a decent guy. Asher nodded his head.
"Yeah, he's really cool. Fun, carefree, likes to get into trouble, so you'll probably get along with him." Asher said, apparently gaining enough confidence to tease Cailen.
"Oh, really? I'll have to be the judge of that, Ash." Cailen said.
He was still standing in front of Asher, his arms now crossed over chest. Asher smiled at this, his eyes crinkling at the corners like they always did.
"I missed hearing your voice say my name." Asher said softly. "I missed you, Cailen." He said, reaching out and poking Cailen in the stomach.
Cailen's hands instantly went to cover his tummy, giving Asher a pouty face.
"No poking of my fat." Cailen mumbled, rubbing his tummy. Asher rolled his eyes.
"Oh, please. You don't have any fat." Asher assured him, reaching out and placing his hand gently against Cailen’s side.
Cailen could feel the warmth of Asher’s hand on his waist even though the shirt he was wearing was thick and it made him feel fuzzy somehow.
It was so Asher-like to do that, to assure there was nothing wrong with anyone. It was so familiar that Cailen couldn't help but smile at him.
"I missed you too, Asher."