“Of all the things that is bright and beautiful, why does it have to be you?”
-Eullah
***
THERE WERE lines, dots, and other vector images drawn on the glass board. I’m in my second class this morning, and my new class is quite a bliss and simple. As I roam my eyes around, an art class consisting of a few students compared to the other classes is what I am in right now. Well, I guess that was already a given.
A middle-aged man was taking over one of my major art courses, and the professor was so focused on his discussion and my eyes could barely keep up in front. But I’m not listening in full ears.
Perhaps, some of what he said had been a lesson since my first year. And it looked more like a recap of my past studies in arts and design.
I blew a loud breath as I scribbled some notes on my seat close to the open glass window at the last row of desks.
“A set of dots connects the line or one way to define it could be as a point moving in space. As an element of art….”
Letting his words hit our minds and seeing how the class were just silently nodding in agreement made our professor go further to his topic.
And as I stared at the lines, I have begun to realize that it has something in common with what I feel right now. It is like what they say. There is certainly a thin line in everything that separates every two things. And just like how love and friendship are, an invisible boundary sets them apart from each other.
I couldn’t help but bitterly smile at that thought. That line must be something that serves as a limit.
Perhaps, that line between love and friendship tells us whether to risk it all or a red flag that, without a doubt, gives us a “warning” to stop.
Crossing those lines would mean losing one way or another. It’s either you would be best of friends but cannot be lovers.
But why do people usually say that every little love also starts with every single friendship? And that it helps two people to strengthen their established bonds?
I frustratingly combed my hair with my fingers and shut my eyes sharply. Indeed, I’m not making any sense here. All these thoughts were so draining that I put my head down on my desk and sighed again.
Now, look how those lines had given me a headache.
“Are you sick, Ms. Balaguer? Or are you just sleeping in my class?” His questioning eyes were on me as my block mates turned their heads my way, waiting for me to stumble on my own words.
My hands were cold, and hoping he would not give me a deduction for spacing out during his class.
My body jerked up, and I answered quickly. “I-I’m sorry, sir. But I’m fine. Thanks.” His squinting eyes did not leave me for a minute or two, maybe assessing if I was telling them the truth or not before he resumed what he was explaining in class.
That almost made me choke nervously. Thank God he wasn’t so strict after all.
I heaved a sigh exasperatedly for the nth time. I let the time passed and behaved the way that I needed to. I don’t want to be on someone else’s wrong side, much worse, on my professor’s side, more particularly. When the class ended, I slowly put everything on my tote bag and flattened my wrinkled clothes a bit using my hand.
I was about to step out of the room when I heard someone cleared his throat. That made me halted from my footsteps and turned to my left side. My eyes went wide open, and I held my breathing when I saw a very familiar built leaning on the door frame of my room.
“W-What are you doing here?” I pressed my lips together as I noticed myself stutter in front of Tim.
Since when did I get so nervous around him?
The day that you admitted that you like him, my mind responded like it was the best answer. I shook my head after that self-questioning. So ridiculous.
He flashed his alluring smile that never failed to take my breath away just by standing there while crossing both of his arms on his chest. What is this man doing here, anyway?
“What took you so long inside?”
“Hmm… nothing. I just checked on my things. So, what are you doing here? Did your class ended so soon?” I asked Tim.
“Yeah…” My best friend chuckled. “And I also heard that you were actively participating in your class by just sleeping around,” Tim said meaningfully.
My eyes grew more prominent. No way! “Of course not! I did not! I promise I didn’t!” I slapped his right arm sharply when he started laughing it out.
“Hey, that’s rude,” Tim said while snickering. I stared at him blankly.
“Well, you are making fun of me,” I firmly stated as I watched how this guy found it out. “So, you undoubtedly were here, huh?”
He laughed at me so loud that it got him teary-eyed, and trust me that I thought I heard the angels sing from the heavens down to earth. But he was still annoying undeniably.
I eyed him annoyingly, and I sure looked so grumpy. That’s when he realized that I’m starting to think of throwing him a punch on his handsome face.
“Okay, okay,” he said in between his laughter, “alright, I believe you,” but failed unmistakably.
Tim held both of his arms up like he was surrendering to me, and I just squinted my eyes when he was having a hard time suppressing his laugh.
The nerve of this guy!
I irritatingly walked out and turned my back when he did not stop yet, but I was still not going far by a couple of steps when suddenly I felt him wrapped a strong but careful hand on my wrist tightly. I blew some air out of my lungs and slowly turned to his face that I couldn’t afford but not to look.
Damn! Stop beating so wild my heart. Be careful.
“What? Done laughing now?” I asked him, still irritated, and rolled my eyes.
With his puppy eyes, he answered. “You’re leaving me? That’s truly not a good idea after I’ve waited for you.”
“You undeniably are troublesome,” I conversed while pouting.
“Sorry…” I saw Tim scratching the back of his head but smirking at me. “I’m not Ultimus Mercavah Fabroa for nothing.” Ugh, this guy!
“Tsk. Someone’s proud here….” I rolled my eyes again. So annoyingly but gorgeous as hell. Damn! Now, where did I pull that off?
My gaze went on our hands, and my cheeks burned, feeling like I certainly thought it heated up, so I cleared my throat. Tim was fast to let go.
“By the way, do you need anything?” I asked to hide my face a bit and looked on the floor even if nothing was interesting on it.
“Well, I got something for you,” that made me held my head up again.
I creased my forehead, “w-what is it? What for?” My mind was thinking if he needs some tutoring or maybe I could help him with some of his architectural plates when I saw him moved and opened his black backpack for something. He then pulled a rectangular microwave container and handed it to me.
After that, Tim started to walk away, and he was going to leave me confused as hell.
“Wait,” I eyed him questioningly, “W-What i-is this?” I saw him stopped in his tracks but did not face me again. “And for whom is this?” Why is he giving me this anyway? What’s inside?
He stood straight a few steps from me as he put both of his hands in his pockets. “You still did not eat breakfast, don’t you? There’s no food in your apartment, and you don’t cook that much, especially in the morning ‘cause your too lazy to do that,” he refrained himself from chuckling after mocking me.
I could feel my chest pounding, and I couldn’t find my words. Darn it! He knew all along! Everything is so embarrassing! I bit my lower lip unconsciously as I remained silent for a few minutes but then suddenly, he glanced on where I stood frozen like an iceberg. I didn’t know what to react! All I could do was blink!

“Am I right?” Tim asked me knowingly. My best friend unquestionably knows me well. He was trying to catch my eyes, and I’m doing my best to avoid it.
“Oh… t-that’s...well, h-how do you know?” As puzzled as I was as ever before, I couldn’t help but ask in the middle of my stuttering.
He sighed, tilting his head on the side and putting his right hand on his hips, and gave me a face like it was the most stupid question I’ve ever asked him. “I’m your best friend, remember?” I even saw him rolled his eyes at me. “Do you think I wouldn’t know?”
When I couldn’t respond any longer, he turned his back on me as Tim began to take his leave.
“I-Is this r-really form-me?” I looked so shy I could curse myself repeatedly.
He spoke while walking. “It’s alright. It’s for you. You might as well eat it while it’s still hot. Mom made that for me, and since that’s your favorite, I’m giving you mine.”
“But—”
“No buts, Eullah. I just received it. That’s for you. You’re not skipping meals, at least not on my watch.” He said, but the last parts were not audible for me at all.
“I’ll go ahead. See you around, Besh.”
I looked at the container and then back to him a few times. I blinked enumerable times. What did precisely happen?
“Tim!” I shouted at him, and he stopped midway but didn’t turn his head. He’s still not that far from me. “T-Thank you, Besh.”
My best friend happily waved his hand at me with his retreating back. Even if he didn’t look at me again, I knew that a genuine smile etched on my face. I hope he saw that, too.
***
“HEY THERE, Eullah. Had somewhere to go this lunchtime?”
A bright smile shined like a sunrise as I saw Iana bouncing closer to me and carefully sat on my desk. Her shoulder-length straight black hair sways smoothly in the air as she bubbly lightens the crowd of her presence.
I met her in the same class that I’m in three years ago, and it made my college life a little bit exciting and easy. If it wasn’t for her, maybe I already died with boredom together with my paintbrushes and paints. But kidding aside, Iana Faye Melendrez always got my back and has been good to me ever since. Our first conversation was due to my canvas that I forgot to bring at school and left at home, and it happened that she had a spare to use. That practical test made me thought of dropping out of school when I thought it would be the end of my life. But because she was there, I avoided a sudden failing grade in my first year in college. She was the girl who sat next to me in the corner, and I guess we’ve been friends since that day.
I stopped on my reverie and answered Iana. “Hmm, where would I be?”
She looked at me teasingly, “you won’t be with your best friend and be lovey-dovey?”
I creased my forehead and hid my cheeks that’s heating up again. “Hey, drop it, Iana. That isn’t very comfortable. And what if someone would mishear you? Why is he mentioned, by the way?” It was indeed a frantic reaction coming from me.
“Well, you two go perfectly together if it isn’t for his girlfriend…” she bitterly stated that made me stared at her.
“Iana…” I said in a menacing tone. “It’s alright. As long as Tim is happy, then I couldn’t ask for more.” And of course, there are just some things that we couldn’t have. And someone who would not be ours even if how much we wanted them to.
True enough, calmly saying it made Iana frowned a little and rolled her eyes in mid-air.
She sighed and looked me in the eyes frustratingly. “Ugh! He is so freaking annoying. Do you get me? That jerk should know about your feelings! But Ultimus is just so damn clueless. Is he blind?” Iana ranted, which almost left me chuckling. Then she glanced at me, “You okay?” Her concerned look made me smile.
Iana knows everything. She was with me every time I would break down on him and when things got so troublesome that I couldn’t think straight at all.
“It’s fine. I’m good, Iana. So.…” I drawled, “got something on your mind? I’m hungry. I’m thinking of where we could grab something to eat and kill some time before our last class today.”
“That’s a good idea. I have somewhere in mind.” She cheerfully spoke in a hurry.
Walking under the sunlight was truthfully uncalled for, but summer makes it brighter than ever. But this good weather is perfect for a sunny day getaway. I thought of where she could bring me, but I stared at her blankly when I suddenly realized that we were striding in a very particular spot.
And so, too much to my expectations, we ended up in the cafeteria. I thought we would go out or go somewhere different outside the campus, but this is where Iana brought me. But well, who am I to complain when we’re already here. Besides, we’re both famished, so I think this would do us any good.
The place was a bit crowded, but still, there were some unoccupied tables left. Iana was stunningly beautiful with her high waist skinny jeans and round neck pastel pink blouse, making men look at her lovingly and proudly. She was already on the counter, buying me a drink (well, I guess some of the guys let her pass through easily, that always happens all the time, so that’s nothing new at all) and paying for her food, and I silently waited for her.
I chose the table across the door, in a bit corner where a few people are around. It’s a four-seater table, so it was a bit spacious, enough for us to have a good place for lunch. I have brought a book that I had taken out from my bag and the food that Tim had given me.
A sweet smile had brought its way to my lips, and I couldn’t even feel Iana’s presence at all, not until she disturbed me from my bubble of thoughts.
“Why are you smiling there like an idiot? And since when did you bother packing your food?” She asked in bewilderment.
I blushed and quickly rummaged my mind of what response I should give her. Clearing my throat made me unconsciously nervous and shy at the same time, “I, ahh, well, n-nothing.”
She gave me that piercing look, and it quite looked ridiculous. I want to hide from her. “Something happened, right?”
“H-Huh? Ahm… Well, nothing serious.”
“Enlighten me, please. But, I’m pretty sure as hell that it’s all about Ultimus again.” Iana exclaimed playfully and sat on the opposite chair in front of me.
Biting my lower lip, I answered, “well, this morning, Tim happened. He gave me something.”
Her smile grew more expansive, and her eyes looked more teasingly than ever, and she began asking me a lot of questions. “So, what’s that something?”
I looked at the food on the table and stared at it. Iana was quick enough to understand.
“Ultimus gave you this?” She said shockingly and opened the lid and dig into the tub, and tasted it first before I could even take some pasta. “Hmm, this tastes real good. Did he make this for you? Damn! I didn’t know he could cook….” Iana took another bite, and I think it was delicious based on her sudden reaction.
It happened so fast that I could not speak anymore and gave her a flat look.
But before she could have a wrong idea, I interfered with her assumptions. “Her mother made that for him. And….”
“And what?”
“He knew I skipped breakfast, so he gave that to me. Simple as that.”
She stopped for a second, “Tita Wilma? Oh, that’s very nice. Even if he didn’t cook this for you, we couldn’t deny the fact that he gave this to you. I like that. It’s like taking one step at a time…” Iana happily expressed meaningfully.
“What are you saying? T-This is nothing.” Is it true, Eullah? Who are you fooling yourself with again?
“Says who? You? Alright, I believe you,” she said sarcastically. I think I already had enough of that since this morning. “But, Eullah, the more you restrained those feelings of yours, the more reason for it to burst out. You know that, don’t you?”
I pressed my lips together so hard. Well, Iana was telling the things that I would always try to ignore.
Suddenly, she became serious. “Sometimes, I wished you didn’t fall for Tim because it’s taking a toll on you. And this sweet gesture makes you hope for something that isn’t real. Something that could not be even called vague.”
If truth be told, I’m wondering how Iana could praise and make Tim a jerk in an instant. She was even enjoying it, eating the food he gave me as if it was hers—the audacity of this woman. But I would not say that her perspective is wrong, but it’s not right, either. Moreover, what she said is something I wouldn’t point out because I’m running away from the truth.
And sometimes, I could not accept the fact the Iana was right all along. Am I now expecting? But, no. I shouldn’t. Or maybe, I don’t even have the right because I couldn’t.
Then my gaze flew to the other side of the cafeteria. My eye caught a familiar physique. I saw Nallie, and she’s obviously with someone I surely know. Nallie wanted her boyfriend to be on her side almost all the time, which freaks me out at the very least.
Aside from the truth that Tim had no longer time to be with me, Nallie was a bit manipulative to everyone who surrounded Tim. I don’t know if it’s just about her being territorial, or it’s just pure stupidity always to know her boyfriend’s whereabouts.
I averted my eyes away from them before they could see me, and I knew that Iana saw it too, but I refused to be affected. I didn’t notice how I am firmly holding the fork in my hand. How could I act normally without hurting myself just by seeing them?
I thought they were just comfortably eating until I heard a loud slap that made everyone in the hall stopped in their tracks.
That made my head turned up, and my jaw almost dropped as my eyes almost got out on its socket when I shockingly saw Nallie walking out of the cafeteria, leaving my best friend alone in misery. Tim’s hand balled in a fist strongly as he turned his face into the other side forcedly. His hair was messy as his veins were protruding furiously. I cursed under my breath. Did they exactly fight out there? Or is everything over now?
My questions left me dumbfounded after I saw a lone tear streamed down on his face.
###
-IOYK-