I woke with the intense feeling that I was about to have a really crappy day and my premonition was confirmed when I heard my doorbell sing out.
I looked up from where I'd parked myself on the couch with my laptop and a plate of chocolate pancakes.
I wasn't expecting anyone other than Alex but it was just eight-fifteen — way too early for Alex to show up.
I resolved to leave the person at the door and continued perusing my emails.
The doorbell sounded out again and after I didn't answer it it became an insistent chime.
“Fine!” I hollered setting my laptop on the crystal coffee table. “I'm coming.”
I got up not bothering that the only piece of clothing I had on was pajama bottoms and a few crumbs of pancakes.
I shivered a little and yanked the door open ready to glare whoever was there right back to hell.
The demon as it turned out was five feet six inches, clad from head to toe in Prada and was none other than Cynthia Miller AKA my mother AKA the last person I wanted to see first thing in the morning.
I groaned. Well there goes my perfect day.
“Is that how you're going to greet your mother, young man?” she said and took off the huge sunglasses that covered her hazel eyes.
“Forgive my lack of enthusiasm, I'm just not happy to see you.”
She scoffed, gave me a once-over then clutched the black bag hanging delicately on her wrist.
“You look like a bag of bones, haven't you been eating?”
With that she pushed me inside and walked into my penthouse.
“Sure, come on in,” I whispered to myself.
“You really shouldn't be so stuck up, big brother,” said the tall guy in a suit that I hadn't noticed.
“Great, she brought reinforcements, do you also want to barge into my house too?”
Charles chuckled before stepping in. I closed the door slowly hoping that by the time I turned around the two people would've disappeared.
I turned around and had no such luck. Great.
“What do you want, mom?” I asked, cutting to the chase. I wanted to get the yelling out of the way so they could get out of my house sooner.
“Would you please put on a robe or something? You're not exactly decent right now.”
“You say it like I care about what you think. Just say whatever the fuck it is that you came to say and get out.”
“Carson . . .” Charles started, his blonde hair sticking out unnaturally. The creaseless suit he wore irked me further.
“You shut up,” I said to him. “This is between me and mom. No comments from loyal lap dogs needed.”
I saw my mom gulp but the steely aura around her didn't diminish one bit.
“I've been calling your phone but you won't pick up and when I call your office I keep getting your crummy assistant and she's getting very creative with the evasive answers. You should fire her.” Then my mother proceeded to sit on my couch and cross her legs like she belonged here.
I felt a muscle twitch on my temple. Only my mother was capable of making me see this shade of red.
“I'll ask it again, what do you want?”
Charles appeared and handed her a glass of something clear. Knowing my mom it was probably a glass of sparkling water with a dash of lemon.
“Thank you very much, sweetie,” she gave him a sweet smile and accepted the glass. I glared at Charles. How dare he go into my kitchen without my permission?
She took a sip and cleared her throat. “Well, I've been worried about you, baby. Carter is all the way in some rundown town in Austria doing God knows what and I still hear more from him than the son I live in the same city with, how is that fair?”
I let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Fair? Do you really want to talk fair now?”
“Are you still mad about the whole Sophy thing?” She asked incredulously. “That was two months ago, my love!”
Her offhanded comment made my blood boil. Sophy was a streaming service I'd acquired and spent my time and money grooming. Miller Inc. was a technological company so I didn't think they'd be interested in a streaming service, what I didn't know was that my mom had gone behind my back and told the board of directors about it making up to be an opportunity they shouldn't miss. Long story short, they somehow took control of Sophy and I haven't been able to look my mother in the eye after that.
“It was mine. You had no right to do what you did.”
Her expression didn't change. “Oh quite the contrary darling. See, anything purchased under the Miller Inc. name is fair game, you know that.”
“If you wanted to keep it you should have bought it under your name. Your lawyer has been very ineffective, he should've told you that,” Charles adjusted the cuffs of his suit.
“You know what, Charles? I don't want to hear another word from you till your exit in the next ten seconds.”
“Don't you dare talk to your brother like that,” mom dropped her glass on the table with a hard clink.
“He's not my brother and you know it,” I spat with venom.
Charles was my adoptive brother, we shared no DNA and I liked to bring it up whenever I could, not because I was an asshole — but let's face it, I am a little bit of an asshole — but because I wanted Charles to remember his place.
It was so quick that I didn't see her stand up until I felt the sting of her hand connecting with my cheek.
“You will show me some respect,” she stood in front of me heaving with anger.
“You're getting the respect you earned, which is none,” I whispered to her face. “And would you look at that?” I said loud enough for both of them to hear. “Your ten seconds is up. Now both of you, get out of my house before I have security escort you.”
Mom glared at me a full minute before she grabbed her bag and replaced her sunglasses.
“This isn't over, Carson Seth Miller. This is far from over.”
“I'm counting on it, mother dearest.”
I put on my best intimidating glare and watched as she walked out. Charles followed her and soon I was alone in my apartment with the only sign that someone else had been here the glass on the table with a smudge of pink lipstick.
I sighed.
It was times like this that I wish I'd known who my father was. Maybe he'd have been the glue that held me and my mother together because our relationship was in shambles.
But other than the fact that he had dark hair, grey eyes and the charm to knock up the unattainable heiress Cynthia Miller, I knew zilch about him.
Suddenly overcome with anger I grabbed the glass and threw it at the wall. Revelling in the sound of shattering glass I took the abandoned plate of pancakes and tossed it too.
The marble wall was slick with maple syrup as I went to pour out my frustration on my punching bag.
After a good workout and a fine layer of sweat I was calm enough to take a shower, put on a dress shirt and pants and resume my work.
Sitting behind my desk in my home office I forgot all I was supposed to do and started twirling the black card on my lip. The black card's presence was the only thing giving me hope.
I would see her soon.
The club opening was the day after tomorrow and I couldn't help but wonder why everything about this woman was hell bent on testing my patience.
Before long the doorbell dinged again and I tensed. I prayed it wouldn't be my mother because I quite frankly was done with her for today. It would be some time before I was ready for round two.
“Woah! Someone was mad,” came a voice from the living room probably noticing the mess I'd made.
I relaxed when only Alex came through the door.
I didn't think that I'd be happy to see her shapeless black dress and tight bun.
“I'm guessing from the state of things out there your mom was here earlier?” She asked with a bored expression.
“You should probably get someone up here to clean that up.”
“Evasive technique, so I'm guessing the answer is yes,” she took a seat in front of me.
“On the bright side, I don't think she'll be calling anytime soon so you get a break. For now at least.”
She sighed. “I really wish you'd mend things with your mom.”
“And I really wish you'd stop pushing me and my mom together. It's not gonna get any less complicated no matter how much you try so please stop!”
She looked taken aback and I hoped she got the message. I knew her heart was in the right place but some relationships weren't worth saving. It was better for them to crash and burn.
She blinked rapidly. “I'm sorry, I just . . . Family is all we've got in the end and I thought . . .”
“Yeah, well mine is fucked up and I would rather talk about literally anything else. Please.”
I handed over all the papers I'd signed and watched her sort through it.
I sighed.
“I'm sorry I snapped at you. You know my mother puts me in a mood.”
She nodded. “You're right. I really shouldn't be meddling.”
I turned my attention to my laptop and after reading some reports I looked around at my desk.
There was still a lot left to get done but I just wanted a break from everything.
“Why don't you head home? I can finish up here,” I told Alex.
Her eyebrows jumped. “Really? You're not going to call me in the middle of the night to ask for some financial statements you never asked me to prepare?”
I shot her my ‘don't question me’ stare and she got the message this time.
“You're not getting out of your doctor's appointment this month because you really need your head checked,” she packed her things and stood up. “Bye.”
When I was sure she was gone I stumbled up to the private elevator in the living room and pressed a button.
I got in and proceeded to remove my shoes as the elevator ascended.
The doors dinged opened and spat me out into a dark room.
Tossing my shoes to the side my bare feet took me to the wall where I flipped a switch and the ambient light came on.
There was a humongous TV at the far end, several comfortable black sofas and a bar that encompassed two walls, its gray granite countertop gleaming.
Leaning in I grabbed a bottle of whisky from the rows of expensive bottles behind the bar standing like soldiers at attention.
Plopping myself on an armchair in front of the TV I twisted the cap off the bottle and took a swig.
Relishing the burn down my throat I turned on the TV and fixed on the headset that was laying on the table in front of me, making sure the mouthpiece didn't bother me.
I picked up the console to indulge in my favorite pastime.
If I'd known adulting would be this hard I'd have cherised every single moment of being a kid even more.
I picked an online war game called Commando and proceeded to blow off the enemy's heads off with my buff avatar.
Pretty soon another character showed up at the same time that my headset cackled to life.
“Well, well, well,” I said to the other person. “Look what the cat dragged online.”
Eddie's laughter filled my head and it was then I realized how much I missed my best friend.
It wasn't until his avatar shot behind mine that I realized I could've died.
“You're welcome,” his New York accent was everywhere. “Better watch where you're going buddy.”
I chuckled. “Edwin the First! How you been bro?”
“Same old, same old. You?”
I hesitated and ducked to avoid a bullet.
“It's been crazy up here.”
“Crazier than morning sickness, doubt it.”
“How's Amy and the kid?”
“He or she's not born yet and I already feel like a lousy father.”
I was glad that Eddie was taking this being a father thing seriously.
Laughing, I paused the game. There were all sorts of things I wanted to tell Eddie. The stuff about my mom, the mysterious woman I can't stop thinking about and a little about business but I stopped myself, he had enough of his own problems.
“You stopped moving,” Eddie observed. “What's wrong? Afraid of these chumps?” He chuckled.
“No,” I scratched my eyebrow. “How long till you're free to come down here?”
He let out a breath and the sound reverberated in the headset. “Dude, I can't leave yet. Amy's in her first trimester and according to the doctor it's the most important, if I leave even for a second I'm sure she'll either get into something super stressful or eat something super unhealthy. So to answer your question I won't be doing any traveling for almost a year.”
I sighed.
“You really need to trust your wife more.”
In true Edwin fashion he saw right through my charade. “What's going on with you man? Tell me, I've got time. Amethyst is taking a nap.”
And I told him everything.
At the end of it he sighed. “Dude, when last did we see each other?”
I chuckled, happy that my friend could make anything seem lighter.
“You say you met this girl at a bar?” He questioned.
“Yep.”
“And you're sure that you won't get bored with her after you sleep with her?”
“Dude!” I exclaimed.
“What? I'm being realistic. With you after you've managed to slay the dragon, the conquest ends there. You're sure it's not like that here?”
“Positive. This one's different for some reason but I'm scared if I show up tomorrow a restraining order will be delivered to my office first thing the next morning.”
“If you're sure, I say screw it. When I met Amy we had a two second conversation and I knew I'd be an idiot to let her go. When you know, you know, and you gotta go for it when you know.”
I didn't say anything, I just sat there worrying my bottom lip.
Eddie spoke up when I didn't offer to break the silence. “Look man, guys like us? We have all the luxury and all the money but what we don't have is time. Every second of every minute of every hour is precious and we have to make the best of it. If you think that this girl is worth even a fraction of your time, then I say go for it.”
“What if I'm wrong and she doesn't feel the same?”
“Well, then that's karma for all the hearts you break on a regular,” I could detect the smug tone in his voice.
“Sometimes, I really hate you. And you wonder why I don't call often.”
“Shut up and let's play. I've got five minutes before the little lady wakes up.”
I obliged and I had to hand it to Eddie for knowing his wife well because precisely five minutes later a light, feminine voice filled my ears.
“Carson!” It shrieked and I was again reminded of my best friend's wife's boundless energy. “I haven't heard from you in a while, Daddy, how you been?”
“I'm fine, Cupcake,” I replied, enjoying our harmless flirts.
“Right, you've been busy though, you naughty boy. I'm sorry I kept your boyfriend away from you for so long, but you know, he does have responsibilities now.”
“Oh,” I executed two headshots and rejoiced as my score went up. “You can keep him. We're over.”
Amy's giggles were so girly they almost sounded pink.
“So anything momma should know about before the media? Or have you two guy coded everything?”
“Nope, all good on this end.”
“Lie to the psychologist, that's a good idea.”
I could almost visualize her rolling her strange purple eyes.
“Have you talked to Steve?” She asked out of nowhere.
I was so shocked that I lost concentration and a bullet hit me. I winced at losing a life.
While I waited for the game to reboot I answered Amy's question about my other blue-eyed, British best friend whose accent irked me.
“No, I haven't. Why?”
The game started just as Eddie zoomed by me in a car. I hopped in for a free ride to the next zone.
“I heard his house in LA got broken into.”
“Oh my God, is he ok?”
“I don't know, that's why I'm asking if you've spoken to him, genius.” Amy snapped.
It hurt a little being on the receiving end and I briefly wondered if this was how Alex felt when I snapped at her.
She let out a breath. “I'm sorry, Daddy, these hormones are messing with me.”
“It's alright, love. Just hurry up and pop that baby out so I can get momma back.”
“You two do realize I am right here, right?” Eddie piped up causing Amy to laugh. I would've too had I not been preoccupied with an entire horde of opposing soldiers.
“Sorry baby, we'll stop,” Amethyst apologized.
“Heads up, man. Incoming,” I told Eddie.
It was Amy who answered. “Sorry, hon, you're going to have to fight this war without your loyal compadre. He has to come watch childbirth videos with me.”
I frowned. “What?” I asked thoroughly confused.
“You heard right man. Women really should be given more credit, they're superheroes honestly. If I don't make it out of this round of videos, tell my mother and sister I love them.”
And with that I was left to fight my battle alone.
All alone.
Just how it had always been.