The unzipping of my bag echoed around the room like a loud fart.
“Meron”, I said before pulling a purple water bottle out of my bag. “Basta huwag mo uubusin ah, hindi pa din ako uminom”, tawa ko.
I handed it closer to her. “Sigurado ka?”, paninigurado niya, “Baka napipilitan ka lang ah, wag nalang ata”, tinignan niya ko sa mata as if a dog who did something wrong.
“Siraulo, okay nga lang”, I pushed it even closer to her and when she did not reach for it I took her hand at puwersahang inabot ito sa kaniya.
“Yan na oh sige na haha”, sabi ko, sa lahat ng ayaw ko yung painarte pa, tinutulungan na nga.
She examined the bottle and looked at Selena as if confirming what she did.
“Ano ka ba Cassie , sige na, maiinis na yan mamaya si Henry kapag ganiyan”, perceptive si Selena as usual, I guess she noticed how impatient I am pagdating sa mga ganitong bagay.
Tinignan niya ulit yung bote, “Sige pala thank you”, she smiled, unscrewed the cap then drank.
I panicked as her lips touched the mouth of the bottle. Sabi niya hihingi lang siya, hindi ko naman inexpect na iinumin na niya mismo dun. Kinabahan ako bigla at nanlaki mga mata ko.
I was flustered as she handed me back the bottle. I looked at her as she walked away then to the bottle I’m holding. Hindi ko na to iinumin, where did she get the courage to drink on someone else’s bottle.
Moments later, I was on my way back to the canteen. The tray from the canteen served as a good carrier for my bottle and Selena’s.
“Anong iniisip ng babaeng yun”, I whispered.
Hindi naman sa pagiging maselan but there are illnesses that can be transferred just from that. Hindi ba niya inisip sarili niya?, paano kung may sipon at ubo pala ako edi nadamay siya ng wala sa oras?
“Hindi ba siya nag iisip?”, I uttered as I stopped on one of the plant boxes, unscrewed my bottle then poured the remaining water with a sigh. I know I’ll never drink it at this point at least the plants can make use of it.
Once you enter para kang nasa ibang mundo. Maingay at magulo. It’s always the setting of the canteen every lunch time. I could compare it to a prison’s canteen, except, wala yung mga sigang malalaki ang katawang puro tattoo na nangungursuna kapag umupo ka sa upuan nila.
Walang ganun dito, why you say? Molave West is strict on that kind of stuff, you’ll get punished with either double assignment and suspension and in some cases, if you did something out of the tolerable kind, pwede ka maexpell.
The tray and the other utensils clink and clank as I returned it to the counter. Ngumiti ako kay manang Celia, ngumiti din naman siya kahit papano. I washed my hands first at the sink while I held the bottles between my arm and torso.
The dispenser is not that far, it’s beside the counter actually. I waited for the other two students to get their fill before walking up to it. They are a cheerful bunch just like everyone.
Above it is a poster about nutrition saying “Build your tray the healthy way” with images of fruits, vegetables and other nutritional necessities.
Ngumiti nalang ako habang binabasa ko yun, andaming ganitong nakapaskil sa canteen, pero tignan mo yung mga tinda nila kapag recess, hotdog, cheese stick, lumpiang tinipid sa ingredients, pritong shomai na minsan ilang araw nang naka stock sa shelf ng canteen.
May mga ibang tinda naman pero tologo bo? Nutrition my face, half of the canteen’s contents are fried.
“Kuya, kukuha ka bang tubig?”, sabi isang ng studyante sa likod ko. I turned around and looked at her, she was looking at me as if I’m a newfound specie of an animal, the “what’s with this weirdo” kind of look.
“Ay sorry, una ka na”, tumabi muna ako at umilag ng tingin. Nakakahiya junior pa naman ata namin.
She just followed me with her eyes as I stepped away from the dispenser, smiled then took her fill.
Dahil sa kahihiyan, pagka alis na pag alis niya naglagay na din ako ng tubig. I first filled Selena’s bottle, it’s a transparent bottle with a black cap. Then filled mine, stopped half of the way, drank and then filled it to its brim.
Hinanap ko kung bakit hindi tatlo yung inumang dala ko and then I remembered, Cassie has no bottle, that’s why she asked us with water.
Laughter called my attention to the tables. It was Carl and the others. “They are still at it? I wonder what they are talking about”, I whispered to myself as I got up from the dispenser.
On a wider view, lahat ng nasa canteen ay ganun din, kasama mga kaibigan nila, walang alisan ng upuan hanggang mag time at puno ng tawanan. I stepped away from the dispenser as another student was eyeing it.
The corner of the wall beside the door seemed like a safe place to stand. They’re like a high-quality video zooming on x4 speed. Each laugher that I heard slowly became inaudible and eerie until I can’t hear anything but my breathing and the beating of my heart.
It felt like I was reading a page of a book, one page at a time while everybody are flipping the pages like Daniel Kent.
“Okay ka lang nak?”, tanong ni manang Celia sakin, hindi siya tunog galit, parang ngayon ko lang siya narinig na ganoon.
Her concerned question called me back to my mortal body. “Ay, wala po, may iniisip lang po”, I said with courtesy and faintly smiled before stepping outside the door.
I don’t know how to describe this feeling. It’s the first time that I felt it. It’s suffocating, parang may kamay na nakalapat sa leeg ko, at may kung anong mabigat sa balikat ko.
“Okay ka lang Henry? You look a bit pale”, Cassie asked as I got back from the canteen.
She’s been asking questions that hit’s different every time, mangkukulam ata ito. “Wala wala, may iniisip lang, not that it matters.”
I handed her Selena’s bottle. She took it with both hands. I walked passed her, sat on my chair and lowered my head to the desk.
“Anong nangyari sa kaniya?”, pabulong na sabi ni Selena pero narinig ko pa rin.
“Ewan, pag balik niya ganiyan na”, I also heard Cassie answer her.
Rigth after the class ended that afternoon I immediately picked up my bag and decided to go home. Group 2 on the other hand started preparing for their postponed performance.
“Uuwi ka na Henry? Hindi mo na sila papanoodin?”, tanong ni Eden nung palabas na ako ng pinto.
“I feel sick, nahihilo ako”, I left without even looking at her or waiting for her response. I don’t know, I just knew that I needed to get home and process whatever it is I’m currently feeling.