Flashback
I was about to go to my parent's room when I heard them arguing.
I was shocked when I heard them shouting at each other. This was the first time I heard them quarrel because they never argue and they seldom talk.
I know that I should just leave them alone. But I didn’t know why I stay there and started to listen to their argument.
I don’t know why or what is their arguing about but I heard my name which made me more curious and pushes me to listen more. 
“I have already done my part in this freaking marriage. I already gave birth to Mara, so I have already done my part. You already have an heiress!” My mom shouted.
“What are you talking about? Heiress? Then you should have made her a guy, I need an heir, not an heiress!” My dad shouted back.
 
While listening to them, I didn’t seem to notice my tears.
My mom smirked. “Really? Isn't it an advantage to you? You already arranged her marriage with Mr. Ottave's son. What was his name again? Maru?! Right! And after their marriage, your money, power, and influence will surely be the same with the Ottave.”
End of flashback
I was still young at that time, but my heart already felt the pain of rejection and being unwanted.
And now I am feeling the same pain again. Pain because of rejection and being unwanted.
 
What I only want in this lifetime is to live a simple and normal life, not power, money nor material things. 
I just wanted to feel love and be loved because I felt like they deprived me of love.
Love from my parents...
And now, love from my husband.
But I think just like my parents, Maru’s love will be impossible for me to have.
My husband is in love with someone else. And he is only with me because of obligation.
I was so tired when I reached home. I just wanted to lay down and get some rest. I feel so drained.
When I enter the house I saw Maru waiting for me in the living room.
“Finally hon you are home!” He looks worried.
I felt nothing. I guess I'm back with the old Mara.
He hugs me but I didn't hug him back.
He caressed my face. “Hey, hon are you okay?”
I remained poker face. “I'm okay. I’m just tired. I’ll just go to the room and sleep.”
I was about to walk past him when he grabs my hand.
“I heard from my secretary that you were in the office.”
I look at him with no emotion. “Yes.”
“You heard us.” He said as if he was so sure of it. 
“Yes.” I just said. 
He faced me, I can see worries and fears in his eyes but I just set that aside. “Don't believe in dad.”
I just look at him showing no emotion.
“Hon please don't believe him.” He pleaded.
“I don't care.” I sounded so bored.
His eyes widen a bit of shock and confuse.
“Y-you don't c-care?” He asked again.
I smirk. “I think you’ve already forgotten that we just married for business. There is no love in us Maru. So if you want to continue your relationship with Jana, then go ahead. No one is stopping you and I don’t care.”
I didn’t know how I do that. Even I believe that I don’t care about it. Maybe I’m just exhausted from all of this that’s why I easily accepted the fact that I will never experience love, not in this lifetime.
Maru slowly releases his hand on mine. It's as if he is still absorbing what I just said.
“You mean that?” He asked. 
I can see the pain in his eyes but I chose to ignore it.
I will not let myself be deceived again by him.
Today's revelation is a big slap on my face. I should stop dreaming and face the reality.
“Yes. So if you'll excuse me, I want to go to my room because I am so tired and I want to rest.”
***
I was half-awake because I felt someone hugging me.
"Shhh," he whispered.
"Let me just hug you wife. I miss you. I miss my sweet and caring wife." He said while hugging me tightly.
I just let him be.
After that night, I became cold and distant. We haven't made love -- or should I say sex since then.
I didn’t know why but suddenly I become so cold and aloof.
I can’t force myself to act as if everything is okay because we both know that it's not. That is why I chose to be cold and distant.
He always tries to approach me but I just can't. If I can just leave him, I already did it but I can’t. We are a married couple so I need to stick with him.
He always assures me that he doesn’t have a relationship with Jana but I always cut him off.
I don't want to hear his explanation. Maybe I'm just so tired of hearing lies and deceiving again.
"Please come back to me hon. Please." He asked softly.
I felt his lips on my shoulder. He's kissing it like he always does.
"Please. Wife, please come back to me."
I felt my tears are coming out. I tried to control it but I can't.
He makes me face him. He wipes my tears and kisses my eyes.
"Don't cry hon. Let’s reconcile please." He said as he keeps on kissing me on my eyes, forehead, cheeks, jaw, and lips.
He kisses me with gentleness and love.
Love?
Impossible!
I stop myself from thinking and just let him do whatever he wants.
He kisses me and I kiss him back just like I always do.
He's slowly removing my lingerie.
I still need to fulfill my obligation to him right?
So I let him own my body tonight, as my obligation as his wife.
***
I woke up next to him. Still undress and him hugging me.
I took that opportunity to look at his face, his eyes, nose, and lips.
I feel pity for me and Maru because of this marriage. I just wish that we are a normal couple,  who were in love with each other but we both know that we are not.
I pity him the most. He has the love of his life. They love each other but because of business, he can't be with her.
Maybe I should help him right?
I felt his hug tighten.
"Good morning wife!" He greeted me still eyes closed.
I tried to remove his hand but he just tightens his hug on me. He even pressed down his face to kiss my neck.
“Let’s just stay like this for more minutes hon please.” He said.
“We are going to be late for work.” I reminded him.
“We are on leave today.” He said lazily.
I slightly push him. “What are you saying? We need to go now because we are running late.”
He faces me. "I told you we're on leave."
“Maybe you are on leave but I am not. I have so much on my plate.”
I saw him smirked. "I already advise your office that you won't make it to work today."
My eyes widen. "What did you just say?!"
"Hon please we need this okay? We need to fix our problem. I miss my wife." He said in a serious but soft voice.
“We are always together. And we don’t have a problem.” I insisted.
"Really? Then why are you becoming distant and cold to me?" He asked.
"I'm always like this. I'm named on our campus as Mara the Ice Princess remember? So it's just normal."
"That's how they named you but not me. For me, you are the sweetest and the most beautiful wife. And I miss my wife." He said kind of frustrated.
“Hon please believe me. There’s no truth in dad’s accusation.”
"I told you Maru I don-"
"No your not Mara! Can we stop fooling ourselves! You will not act like that if you don’t care!” His voice raised a little.
"Please Mara let’s fix this. Hmmm?" He said begging me.
I just look at him.
He let a heavy sighed. "Please hear me. I don’t have a relationship with Jana. When the time that my dad asked me to break up with her, I did it. And I never reconciled or went back to her because I already have a wife, and that is you.”
"We married for business Maru." I reminded him.
"Yes, but did it ever cross your mind that maybe we make this marriage work?” 
I looked away.
"You did right? But I know that you are now having doubts because of what you heard last week."
"She was hired by the company and not me. She's from a different department. I will be a hypocrite if I told you that we never talked because we did. We are still friends you know? And I told you that I don't have any plan on making her my mistress because she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. So I will never do it. Rest assured that I will be faithful to you hon."
I don't know why I don't feel comforted by his word. Instead, I felt pain in my chest.
He didn’t make Jana his mistress because he cares for her and not because of me.
I should be happy because he's assuring me of his faithfulness in this relationship, but still, I am not.
I need to end this conversation that's why I answered him. "Okay."
And I saw relief in his eyes.