I stared blankly at the ceiling. My mind is still in turmoil. I wanted to yell but couldn't.
I'm on Clea's room waiting for her to finish taking a bath. She suddenly told me that she wants to sleep with me so here I am.
'What the fuck did just happen?'
How did Mikhail know our address? Did Mikhaela told him? That's impossible since they don't live together in a house, but it still have some possibility.
I get my pillow and burried my face in there. I don't want to assume but still!
"Ah!" I yell. My face is red like a tomato. I don't want to assume but I'm feeling butterflies on my stomach!
I raised my head and slapped my face. Geez, I need to pull my self together. What about the plan I made?
Should I just abandoned it and follow my heart? My heart suddenly heavies as I think about avoiding him again.
It's the first time I have a conversation with him after how many years. Of course, I wanted to be with him but just thinking about his condition is hindering me from getting closer to him.
I don't really want him to suffer but if I keep avoiding him, what if he found someone and fall in love with her?
That thought made my heart ache than ever. I certainly don't want that to happen at all.
Just thinking about them happily smiling with each other is already painful, what if it did really happen? I might as well die from too much pain.
"Ugh!" I burried my face again at the pillow. I can't think of anything. I can't think of any solution, it's making my head hurts
I wanted to be with him but huhuhu. Man, life sure is hard.
*Crek
My gaze turned to sideways when Clea finally got out from the bathroom. Her face still wears a sad expression.
I picked up my phone from the bed table and decided to text Leo. He probably doesn't know about this yet, so I'll let him know.
He's probably with his boyfriend right now. Oh right, I haven't seen his boyfriend yet. Clea already saw him and she told me that he's really a hottie, so I'm really curious.
To: CousinLea
        Babe! Something happened to babe Clea. She's crying you know?
I'll just call him and tell him about everything. I put the phone back into the bed side table and lay down.
Clea lay down beside me and hugged my body. She closes her eyes. I looked into her face. She really looks hagard. Her bright face that's always smiling is gone.
I gently brushed her hair with my fingers and let her be comfortable. I didn't say anything and just let her bring that topic.
"Babe... Am I not that pretty?" My body froze because of her question. I stared blankly at the ceiling as I keep brushing her hair.
"No, you're pretty. Really pretty..." I told her the truth. I was suspecting that it was Theo who maid her this way and I was right.
Clea has always been insecure with her looks when it comes to Theo. As I heard from them, Theo really likes beautiful things.
Some people even thought of him as gay, but the truth is, he is very close to his mother and it also because of her. His mother was really beautiful and obsessed with beautiful things.
He got it from her. So when his mother died, his definition of beautiful was his late mother.
Honestly speaking, Clea is really beautiful. Her short hair that looks so good on her especially that she has round face. Her cute and small pointy nose, her round eyes and cherry like lips. Everything on her is pretty..
"B-but why?" Her voice brooke. Her shoulders started to shake. I keep on brushing her hair and didn't say anything.
It's better to let her cry and let out the pain she's feeling.
Sometimes, it's better to just hugged someone who's suffering from pain and let them feel that you're with them. Instead of saying words.
I always believe that actions are more effective than plain words. Words are powerful and very tricky. A lot of people were hurt because of words and lot of people suffered because of plain words.
So if you were to comfort someone, it's better to just stay beside and let them feel your presence.
"Hush now..." I looked at moon from outside the window. The moon is very pretty. I still keep on patting Clea's back and head to help her.
Everything is silent and the only things that can be heard is Clea's painful sobbing.
As the night goes by, the painful sobbing from my cousin disappeared. My eyes slowly started to get heavy as my conciousnes slowly getting away.
-
"Good morning babe!" Clea greet me as soon as I got down from the stairs. Her face is now bright and all smiles. It's like she didn't cry last night.
I woke up without her beside me so I thought she's not okay, that she didn't want to show her face because her eyes might get smaller from crying but it turns out not.
I smiled at her. Geez, it seems like I worry for nothing.
"Good morning!" I greet her back and decided to have our breakfast together with the family.
We entered our room and a loud surroundings welcomed us.
I sighed. It's not new at all, they're always noisy especially the girls. They always have topics to discuss to, how nice.
I raised my eyebrow as noticed that my classmates especially the girls who's always gossiping in a group looked at my cousin as soon as we head in.
What the?
I was about to open my mouth when Clea suddenly pull my hand and headed towards our chair.
I became confused because of actions but decided to keep myself silent. I look at those girls again, they have this suspicious gaze on them.
I glared at them a little and they turned their gaze away. I looked at that bastards chair.
"Tsk." Damn, he's absent.
I was planning on confronting that bastard Theo but it seems like he's absent today. There's a lot of questions i have on my mind right now. Why are they looking at my cousin? Is there some issue or something?
My face became expressionless as I remembered what happened last night. Right, Clea is on the bar. And she's crying, she told me last is she not pretty. That bastard Theo is absent, there's only one conclusion from this.
'something must have happened.'
I wanted to ask Clea but couldn't since I don't want to bother her more like I don't want to make her remember it.
I sighed. Should I ask around? It looks like those girls know something. Maybe not, well whatever. Let's just ask later since the Professor is already her.
The classes ended up fast and it's already the class where Mikhail and I are classmate. He should not be here right?
I looked around the classroom as I was heading in and let a sigh of relief when I didn't spot him anywhere.
Good, I still haven't made any decisions yet. I don't want him to suffer but I also don't want to continue avoiding him.
My braincells are still not working especially when I'm thinking about what should I do with Mikhail. So I really do feel glad that he is not here.
The only thing I can right now is to just pray that he won't attend the class were we are classmates.
"Are you not going to move?" My body froze as those familiar voice said those words.
No, no. I must be dreaming right? My heart is beating wildly and my braincells seems to be broken and I can't think properly.
"Ha." I heard him sighed and my eyes widen as he dragged me together with him.
Some students looked at us but he just ignored those gazes. Damn it, I don't want another scandal geez, just ignored us.
He dragged me towards his seat. He sit down and look at me.
Even if he is still sitting, our height seems like there's no difference at all. He's really tall and I'm so small. If we are going to compare our heights, maybe I'm around his shoulder or neck if I'm wearing heals?
"Sit." I looked at him confusedly.
"What?" I asked him again. My ears seems like it's not working too. He sighed. I wanted to let out a curse, it's the second time he let out a sigh today! Is he tired of me?
"Sit down beside me." What? Did I just hear him wrong? I was about to ask him again but he notice it and grabbed the books I am holding and put it in the desk.
"The class is about to start." I seat down. My mind is still blank. What the hell did just happened?
I put my head into the desk. I almost teard up as my plead were not heard. I don't want to see him yet especially now that I still haven't made my decision!
I wanted to scream but couldn't. I turned my head towards Mikhail's. He's looking at me while his hand is supporting his face.
I pouted. Damn, he's making it harder. I still haven't made a decision yet and now he's here beside me. Is he trying to make things like this?
I wanted to cry but my body won't cooperate. Should I just be with him and stopped the plan of avoiding him?
No, if I became close with him. He might notice that we're close in the past.
But still, I don't want to avoid him forever you know? Should I just get close to him and pretend to not know all the things he like just like it's the first time we got friends?
Should I do it or not? But, no. I should do it? Maybe not? Should I? Ah! I'm going crazy!
I woke up from my thoughts when a warm hand suddenly hold me. His warm hand is holding my hands.
"Stop hurting your self." His gaze is cold and his voice seems worried he said those words. I froze.
I didn't notice my hand was already on hair and ruining it. I gasped. I'm not hurting my self. I'm just stress and don't know what to do!
"N-no, I'm not.." I get up and avoid his burning gaze. I fixed my hair and looked at him again. His eyes is suspiciously looking at me.
"What are you thinking while grabbing your hair?" He raises his eyebrow while his looking at me like some kid. I avoided is gaze and decided to make up a reason but couldn't think of any.
"Did I really?" I answered him with a question. His gaze is now serious. I turned my gaze the other side and pretended to be innocent. Geez, I don't want to look at him. He's scary
He became silent so I'm starting to get nervous now. Is he going to eat me? Sure please eat me.
My face heated up because of my thoughts. What the fuck did I just think right now.
Well, if he's going to eat me. It is fine me though. Mikhail really is so hot that by just looking at him, you feel like it's fine if he eats you, rawr.
My face heated more because of my naughty thoughts. I fan my self using my hands to lessen the heat I'm feeling.
I stopped when a hand suddenly was put on both my checks and gently turned my head towards one direction.
My eyes widen when I saw Mikhail's serious face. His hands are now both on my check. My face heated up more. I feel like my face is red as a cherry.
His gaze went down to my red cheeks. My eyes widen even more. Oh no, please don't think of anything!
The side of is lips raised as he looked at me with a teasing gaze I guess? I can feel his warm yet rough hand against my checks.
I almost shriek when his thumb rubbed my cheek gently.
"I wonder what you're thinking while blushing like this.." I feel like any moment from now, I'll faint out because of embarrassment.
Damn it! Even if he loss his memories, he is still the same as before. He likes teasing me and seeing my cheeks blushed.
He weddraw his hand. I sighed in relief. Ha, that was so embarrassing. His eyes is still focused on me.
"Damn, so cute.." I raised my eyebrow and looked at him questioningly.
"Did you say something?" I asked him. He just shrugged and looked at the front. The noisy surroundings suddenly went quite as our Professor went in and started the class.
"Ha." I sighed for the ninth time. This class is so boring.
I played my pen as I my brain is slowly drifting away.
This class is so boring but I can't just cutting class you know. This is the only class where Mikhail is one of my classmates.
I'll just hanged in there even if it's to boring.
I recall what happened earlier. I feel like I got really close to Mikhail, but also not.
Should I make my decision now? Honestly speaking, I want to make a decision where we don't have to suffer.
So maybe if I choose this decision, most likely the both of us won't suffer and that everything would turn out well.
Ha, making decisions sure is hard. It's making me stress. I don't want to experience this again, where I need to choose or make decisions between two things.
It's making my head hurts and my braincells stopped from working.
I woke up from my thoughts when a crumpled piece of paper rolled in front of me.
I looked at Mikhail. His expressionless face is still looking in the front. I frowned, how can he feel not bored after listening to our Professor's discussion?
Being a genius sure is nice. I picked up the crumpled paper and open it up. I looked at the content and a small smile formed on my lips.
'Are you bored?'
                      -M
I get my pen and write down my response.
'Yes I am, it's so boring that I wanted to sleep.'
I crumpled the paper and slowly passed it to him. I almost giggled when I suddenly remembered about the past. We also did this kind of things when he noticed that I'm getting bored from our teacher's discussion.
How I miss those days. A paper rolled again. I excitedly open up the paper and check out the content.
'Me too.'
I chuckled because of his response. His bored yet his face shows like he's interested in the discussion.
Aww, how cute. I write a response
'Your face us saying otherwise though, lol.'
I throw it to him. I chuckled lightly because his face is focused in the front while he get the paper i throw at him.
I looked at the front and pretended to listen at the Professor's discussion. Heh, this is fun.
I looked down and simply open up the paper.
'Really? Well I guess you could say that. You've been stealing a glance at me for a while.'
My face heated up after I read his response. Gosh, I thought he didn't notice it when I'm taking a glance at him but he did!
I touched my heated face. Gosh, I don't know what to response. It's so embarrassing.
Maybe I should really be careful to not get caught when stealing a glance at him next time. A sudden naughty idea came into my mind.
'Oh, I apologize. It's just that, you're so handsome that I can't help taking a glance at your face.'
I wanted to put a shy emoji but stopped when I remember I don't know how to draw at all.
I slowly crumpled the paper while looking at the front. A smile is still flastered on my face.
I carefully throw it into his desk so that no one would notice. I looked in the front again with a smile on face. Gosh, how I wanted to laughed at my actions.
I am playing with my pen as I wait for his reply. Oh, he's taking to long. I wanted to glance at him but stopped my self in the end when a paper rolled on my desk.
I hurriedly open the paper and looked at the content. Gosh, how I wanted to look at his reply.
'Well, I supposed my handsomeness caught your attention. But be careful, you might fall for me..'
My heart is beating loudly as my face heated up from embarrassment. Damn it, I thought I might be able to make him fluttered but it turns out I would be the one wearing a fluttered Express in the end.
I hid all the papers and pretend to write when the Professor suddenly go into our side. Damn it, did she notice?
I wrote everything she said like I'm really taking up notes. I looked at the clock and silently let out a 'yes'
It's almost time for this class to end. I put all the papers into my tiny bag. Ha, how I want to continue chatting with him but it's nearly time for our lunch break.
"Alright, that's all for today." Our Professor bid us goodbyes and left the room. I started to clean up my things and put it into my bag.
My phone vibrated.
From: CousinLea
      Babe! We'll fetch you up!
I was about to reply Clea's text when a figure suddenly approached me. I looked at the person and gasped.
"Mikhail?" I looked at him questioningly. He get my books and looked my eyes.
"Let's have a lunch together." My eyes widen at his words.
Mikhail and me? Eating lunch together?
My face heated up and my heart beats faster. Damn, I'm getting butterflies on my stomach.
"S-sure." I avoided his gaze as i feel embarrassed because of stuttering. Gosh, he will probably think i have a crush on him.
My face heated up more when I remember what I told him earlier. Handsome? Can't  help taking a glance?
Damn it, now that naughty idea is making me embarrassed. Gosh, now I want to just go away and not let him see me again.
We started to go out from the room and headed towards the somewhere but stopped when my cousins approached us.
Leo and Clea is both looking at us with a confused expression. I almost face palm when I remember about Clea's text. But I already told Mikhail that I'll eat with him. Ha, what to do?
"I'll just talk with them." I said to Mikhail and he just nodded.
I approached my cousins with a confused and teasing look on their faces. I grabbed both of them away and talk to them.
"Babe, hey what's that right now?" Leo ask me with a confused expression. Oh, right. He still didn't know that I got closer to Mikhail even just a bit.
All he know is that I'm planning on avoiding him. He must have been confused after seeing me with him.
"Hey babe, you guys are really getting close to each other huh? You guys are so sweet last night." Clea looked at me with a teasing gaze. Her hand is poking my side.
"What? Last night?" Leo's gaze is now on Clea because of what he said. I lightly massage my temple.
"I'll tell you later, Leo okay? And right, he wants to eat lunch with me. So I'll pass today alright?" Both of them nodded. Clea still have this annoying teasing face of hers while Leo looks confused but still nod his head.
"Alright, have fun babe." I waved at them as they slowly get away from us. I looked back to Mikhail. He is looking at me. I smiled at him awkwardly.
"Let's go?" He nodded and we headed into his car. He decided to buy our lunch outside the university.
"It's my uncle's restaurant." Oh, that's why he can just say to me he wants to eat in a restaurant.
When he said that he wants to eat in a restaurant I almost raised my eyebrow but eventually stopped my self. Right, I forgot I was acting like I didn't know anything about him at all.
"We will just take out the foods." I nodded at his words.
After we got our foods we immediately go back to the university. We decided to eat into one of the benches in the garden with table.
I looked at the foods around the table. Does it look like a date right? It's the second time he asked to me to eat.
I sit beside him and pick up the spoon to taste the food.
"Hmm." My face bright up. Wow, this is the first time I've taste the foods from his uncle's restaurant and it really taste good!
"How was it?" Mikhail asked me. I smiled at him.
"It was delicious!" I said to him like a kid who's first time eating a favorite dish and decided to make it her favourite food.
I became embarrassed. I was about to turn my gaze away when I notice the side of his lips raised up. Omg, did he just smile a little?
My heart begin to beat up faster as I feel butterflies on my stomach. I blushed and continued to eat.
We were eating together in that bright beautiful day. There are some students in the garden. They are probably spending their break in their.
I can feel their gazes on us sometimes but eventually ignored it. I talked with him sometimes about the food to make the atmosphere less awkward.
The students here might have think of us as a couple who's having a lunch date on a garden. Gah, that's cliche.
"Do you feel comfortable?" I asked Mikhail as the gazes of the students didn't leave us at all. I can't eat properly with this. I might have a stomach upset if I continue eating.
"Just don't mind them, just think about only the two of us." He put a food on his spoon. My eyes widen when i realized what he's trying to do.
Don't tell me you're going to feed me with the same spoon you are using?! Isn't that indirect kiss?
"Open up." I didn't have a choice but to open my mouth as he put his spoon with a food onto my mouth. My face is so red that I feel like any moment from now, I'll collapse from over heat.
He then put a food on his spoon and eat it. My eyes widen and looked around. Some of the students avoided their gaze at me.
Oh my gosh, I'm sure they saw what Mikhail did. Damn it, I'm embarrassed.
After finishing that nerve wrecking lunch. Mikhail leave me for a moment to buy some drinks.
I looked at the beautiful garden and smile.
"It's so peaceful and beautiful." The garden is so beautiful that you feel like not being able to get tired of just watching it the whole day.
"Arianna?" I looked at the voice who called me just now. A very familiar face with a bright smile that can blind someone welcomed my sight.
Ah, it's been weeks since i last saw him. I probably forgot his name If I just didn't saw his name tag. His face is still the same, especially his smile that can blind someone.
"What are you doing here?" He asked me. He looked at the table and silently nodded his head.
"Hi! It's been a while." I smiled at him. I don't really like his bright smile but I do feel comfortable around him though.
"Yes it is." He smiled. Oh, right I remember. I was about to talk to him about something when a sudden figure approached us.
"M-mikhail." I called the new arrives Mikhail. He has drinks with him. His face is serious while looking at us.
Oh right. I should introduce Andrew to him. I was about to say something when Andrew cut me off.
"Hello, cousin." Andrew's smile is not the same as usual. It's giving me the creeps.