He pulled me to him and kissed me. I returned the kiss even though I was angry at him. He knew how to get me around, how to soften me. And he took advantage of that, but I guess that's what I loved about him. And I loved him. When we broke away, we looked into each other's eyes for a long time and neither of us said anything. "I'm sorry Princess," he whispered. I slowly looked into his beautiful eyes and smiled slightly. I didn't know if my smile was real or not, but I didn't want him to think I wanted to continue arguing.
"You always say that, but it's fine..." I mumbled and slowly looked down at the floor. "I'm serious baby, I'm sorry, I'm trying to change, I'll try, I promise. But tell me if it hurts you, if anything I say or do hurts you babe," he whispered just as softly and trembled with his two fingers, my chin up. So I was forced to look him in the eyes. Maybe I wanted to look him in the eye too, but I didn't want to break in front of him. I didn't want to show that he hurt me.
"Can you forgive me?" he asked me and I nodded with a tear in my eye which he wiped away. "I love you, nothing will change about that, I promise baby," he explained quietly and smiled slightly at me. "I love you too..." I returned his love and he slowly kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it. "I love you so much baby, so much and I know I made a mistake even more than a mistake. And I want to make it up to you, please give me one more chance," he whispered.
He whispered it so softly I almost didn't catch it, but I heard it and I knew he meant it. And what kind of person, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't give him a second chance to improve. "It's okay honey," I replied, actually smiling at him this time. I love him more than anything and I will always love him. Because I've loved him for 6 years. I loved him for 2 years without telling him anything. And after that everything changed. Everything changed that day.
_"Hey, I'm Nathan and erm I wanted to ask if you know where the bio rooms are around here. I'm new at school," he smiled innocently at me and was nervous._ _"Hey, I'm Alessia and yes I am knows where the bio rooms are. You have to go to the other building and then to the right and that's where all the bio rooms are," I explained and also smiled at him._ _His sweet eyes, his beautiful, long, brown curls, his style I was immediately fascinated by everything. Who wouldn't please fall in love with him?_ _"Er, maybe you could show me where they are, I think I'll get lost here," he replied, embarrassed, and I giggled quietly, but nervously._ _"Yes, of course," was the only thing i said and led him to the bio rooms._ _everyone was looking at us, or rather everyone was looking at him.
Exactly 4 years ago today we really talked to each other for the first time. Our parents knew each other, so I sort of knew him and sort of had a crush on him. But I never admitted it. I didn't admit it to myself or him. Why should I? At that time I thought that he was not me and that nothing would ever happen to us. I thought he was going to hit me very badly and that's why he was going to hurt me so much. But things went differently and I don't regret anything I said or did.
"I love you so much" I whispered in his ear and he really fell asleep. "I love you so much baby, sleep tight..." I whispered even softer and tucked him in. I stayed in the position we had been in for a while, ruffling his hair. My fingernails kept going through his hair, so he slept comfortably. I thought about it, we had been through so much, we'd been through so much together, but everything has changed since Kaitlin came along. But I don't want to lose him, not because of Kaitlin.
I love him too much for that, I don't want to let him go either, I don't think I will let him go either. come what may. That's how I fell asleep, he lay in my arms, on my chest and slept peacefully, I fell asleep too and dreamed of him. I dreamed that he would be his old self again and give me all his attention and all his love. I dreamed that I was again the only girl he cared for and that he was the only boy I cared for. But it was all just a dream, the reality was different.
She was different than in my dreams, I noticed that the next evening when I got up again without him. I didn't want to call him, I didn't want to ask where he was and what he was doing. I didn't want any of this because I knew it wouldn't do any good. The only thing that would bring now is to wait and hope that he is not with her. Even if I already know the answer. He's with her again, where else should he be and I'm no longer surprised.
But I don't want to do anything about it either. I think he should spend the whole day with her again, at some point he will realize what he loses from day to day. Every boy wanted me, but I wanted him and I "decided" for him there is nothing to change, I don't want to change anything either. But there will come a time when he will realize how different he was from me and it will be too late for that. I went downstairs and decided to go outside to clear my head. And when I opened the door, I saw something I didn't expect.