People notice me as the person who encourages and gives something to others unknowingly, I am in hard accepting myself each time. Only several people notice the true face within after all they saw each time.
While I was thinking after I took a nap while hugging my lovely pillow that I have had since I was young, there was suddenly a knock on my bare door in this unexpected time once again. Who will this be?
“Myre can I come in?” A sudden voice from my mom, wondering for what is this right now, is it about my dear passion once again.
I slowly walk in the door of my room to let her in and know what is she upto right now.
“Mom, what is it? There is the vanity chair, feel free to sit ” I curiously ask while letting her sit on my vanity chair while I’m walking to sit on the chair beside my bed.
“Is everything okay?” She started with a question once again and I think I know where this conversation will go through.
“Of course, mom, how will everything not be okay after all, you know me mom. I tell everything to you or to dad if things weren’t that fine all along.”
“I hope so Myre, I am just worried about you these past few days, it seems like you aren’t going with us and just like to be with Alexandrius.”
“I’ll tell you if there is something bothering me mom, don’t worry too much. Also please know that I love you four always and I won’t fail you as long as I can.”
“If you say so Myre, I won’t push you enough to tell but remember if you need someone feel free to talk with us.”
“Thanks mom, I’ll do my night habits already. Goodnight, Mom.” I kissed her before I open the door of my room.
After our conversation it’s kind of peaceful that she didn’t push through right now, I don’t know what will I do if she opened the topic once again also despite that they often say those words I still don’t know what to feel it is like they are just saying it for they are our parents or what due to whenever I tend to say something they often interrupt me for something that will make me into my doubts and such things about myself.
*Flashback*
“Mi, I’ll join a writing contest it will happen this weekend.” I start talking about my passion while we are eating our lunch.
“Could you please stop that thing. I know people who pursued that thing but look where they are now they couldn’t sustain finance for their daily living.”
“Mi, people were all different in their paths, my path weren’t the same as what they have. Please allow me this time around.”
“Sis is right mom, can you allow her this time each time I know that this is where her heart is and all we can do is to support.” Christian unexpectedly went through within the conversation.
“No, if i say No it’s final already. I hope you all know that this is for your own sake.”
“Oh? Really mom? For our sake or your own sake within the name you are taking care of!” After I said it she unexpectedly slapped my face tears slowly started falling.
“I’m so-sorry.”
“No, mom I’m tired of this conversations, I’m tired all of following your commands.” I said before slowly standing and starting to go away from this place.
When suddenly Christian hold my hands to stop me “Sis, will you please stay. If you step even one step I’ll also go. I will not let you go away by yourself alone.”
For so many times I couldn’t think where I am if I will really not think about Christian and Jayne. Oftentimes I really wanted to go aways from this place but for them here I am still trying to survive this place no matter how they are all behind me.
*end of flashback*
Nevertheless, despite that they will always say I won’t tell anything for as long as I can, everything I am carrying right now, I will carry it all by myself and won’t tell to anyone around me. I know how hard everything, specially to my parents who is handling business all along and to Alexandrius who his parents also depending on him about their business.
Things weren’t easier as much as it look like, no matter where it goes let your self-bring the positivity you have despite that everything it is too much already.
As I was thinking in the middle of the night after I do all my night habits such as putting my mosturizer and creams that I put each night, I started making my bed to sleep and end the day that will already pass through and another day will come to face with a brave heart.
Several hours after the day had finally begun. I started my daily morning routing putting up my creams and moisturizer while listening to praise and worship songs as how I lend everything to Him truly if we lend all to Him things will be easier than we thought it will be. There are times you will feel the world let you down but if you think deeper, you’ll realize that is for your own sake and it will let you become stronger than what you think you are.
Going in the church with my family and Alexandrius and reading His words had been one of my morning routine since several years ago, whenever I am doing it things that make everything hard each day seems so easy like I do really can surpass it all as I know that He is there waiting for me at His place sooner when I got to do everything according to His plans that is more way better than what I can think of in my thoughts.
For today’s attire I wear blue long dress partnered with my transparent heels and earing, necklace and sling bag from Zalvary. As I finished preparing myself to the day there is a suddenly text from Alexandrius.
“Good morning, my lady are you prepared already? I’m on my way already to fetch you.”
“I’m quite ready as always, my man.” I replied
I slowly walk into my door to leave my room when I unexpectedly see Christian staring at me like I wasn’t her sister at all.
“Hey there, wake up. Stop staring at me as if I am not your sister duh.”
“As always your air and confidence are so high as it can be.”
“Kidding aside here is your pocket money for today. Kindly don’t mention it to mom also please bring this to Jayne.”
“Hays, you’re the best sister in the world as always.”
“Ha ha funny, I’m your only sister and remember that I am unique you can’t find anyone like me.”
At the middle of our conversation there is a beep within our doorbell, it seems like Christian is here already and we got to go.
“Go already, for sure he is waiting already for you. Thanks again.”
“Bye, take care chat me if you’re in the school already and also Jayn.”
“K fine.”
At the time I stepped onto our balcony I saw him waiting and leaning on the Acazia Tree of my mom wearing his polo partnered with a black shoes and pants together with his watch that I gave one of our monthsary together.