Maddie and I went to a nearby cafe as soon as our shift ended. We've been working at a Logistics Company for five years now and everything was going well. When we graduated from college we decided to look for a job together, thankfully, we were accepted Asumbrado Logistics, Inc. and from then on we were living together at an apartment a few blocks away from our office. It's been five years since we graduated and look at us now, enjoying our jobs and earning. This was one of my dream since I was a child. I promised my mother and grandmother that when I grow up I will look for a job to support them.
I smiled bitterly, I did found a stable job but they weren't with me anymore. They are both in heaven and I'm left alone. Sometimes I can't help but be drowned with self-pity, what's the use of working hard if your all by yourself? I'm working to feed myself and that's it. I have no inspiration when I get home and the feeling of loneliness lingers in every corner of my room. That is one of the reason why I'm having this heavy feeling inside my chest. The reality that even if I achieve great things in life, the fact still remains that I'm alone.
Although Maddie's with me all the time, I still can't shake the thought that I don't have a family. No parents, no siblings and no relatives. I took a deep breath as we entered the cafe and looked for a table for two.
Maddie turned to me and frowned. "Ano ba talagang nangyayari sa'yo, Erica? Matamlay ka ngayon, ah. Kanina ko pa napapansin. May problema ka ba?" Sunod-sunod na tanong ni Maddie ng makaupo na kami malapit sa glass window. It's starting to rain outside luckily, we've brought an umbrella.
Tiningnan ko siya at napabuntong-hinga. Hindi ko na nga mabilang kung pang-ilang buntong-hininga ko na 'yon ngayong araw. "Mag-order muna tayo bago ko sabihin sa'yo."
Napataas ang kilay niya sa sinabi ko pero hindi na nakumento pa. Binuklat nalang niya ang menu. Later on, a waiter came and asked for our orders.
"Good evening ma'am. Ano po ang order niyo?" The waiter politely asked while looking at the both of us.
"Seafood pasta, buttered chicken sa'kin." I looked at Maddie and asked, "Anong sa'yo?"
"Pork barbecue, vegetable salad. Rice din dalawang cups lang at 1 pitcher of blue lemonade." Sagot naman ni Maddie.
Mabilis namang naisulat ng waiter ang mga order bago siya umalis papuntang kitchen siguro.
Maddie then looked at me seriously. "So, ano na girl? Anyare sa'yo?"
I tapped my fingers on the table as I began to speak in a low voice. "Alam mo naman na wala na akong pamilya, di ba?" Maddie nodded. "Hindi ko pa nasabi sa'yo ang mga nangyari noong bata pa ako hanggang sa magdalaga. You see, I didn't have a normal childhood."
Maddie didn't say I word and just listened. I'm actually anxious with what I'm about to share to her. Parang gusto ko munang kumain bago ko sabihin sa kanya lahat.
"Pwede bang hintayin muna na'tin ang pagkain bago ko ipagpatuloy yong kwento ko? Gutom na din kasi ako eh, gusto ko munang kumain. Alam mo na, pangpalakas ng loob." I nervously said.
Maddie huffed a deep breath. "Okay girl. Parang seryoso ang sasabihin mo ah, kung ano man yon, tandaan mo nandito lang ako handang makinig sa'yo." She smiled warmly at me.
I smiled back at her and after a few minutes the foods were served. We uttered a short prayer first before eating our foods. Just by the looks of it, mukhang masarap lahat ng inorder namin. Maddie happily munched on her pork barbecue and stuffed a spoonful of rice inside her mouth.
Tingnan mo nga itong babaeng 'to. Basta pagkain talaga wala ng pake sa paligid o sa kaharap. Napailing nalang ako at pinagpatuloy ang pagkain ng seafood pasta ko. Magpapakabusog talaga ako para ganahan akong magkwento tungkol sa masalimuot kung buhay. I internally rolled my eyes at what I just uttered inside my head.
After eating, the two of us just looked at each other and I felt anxious again. It's about time I tell my bestfriend my past. I knew I needed to share this with someone or I will be keeping this heavy feeling inside my chesf forever.
"I actually don't know how to start." I mumbled under my breath.
"You can start sharing when you're comfortable." Maddie said. She smiled sweetly at me which made me relax a little.
I heaved a long exasperated sigh as I started to narrate my childhood and Maddie just listened to me intently.
"You see, my life had been a difficult. I've lost my mother when I was five years old and I didn't even meet my father. Single mother ang mama ko at ginawa niya ang lahat matustusan lamang ang pangangailangan ko. Kasama naman namin si Lola Sonya pero parang may kulang pa'rin. Yan 'yong naramdaman ko noon." I looked outside the mirror and noticed the people outside waiting for a jeepney. Lumalakas lalo ang ulan parang sinasabayan ang bigat ng nararamdaman ko habang inaalala ang naging buhay ko noon.