Chapter Five
APRIL 10TH
How can a guy that I just met a week ago make this kind of impact to me? What happened last time that we met sticks to my mind like a freaking tape. Especially what I heard him said the moment we sat on the bus.
I never heard from him since then. He didn't send a message or what. Why would I worry about that?
Klara, gising! Anong nangyayari sayo?
Gusto ko nang kaladkarin pauwi dito si Andrew para hindi ko na kailanganin pang makipag kita kay Niko. Matapos ang nangyari last time pakiramdam ko hindi ko siya kayang tignan ng diretso.
Pero wala akong choice. Dahil nakaraan pa hindi sinasagot ng magaling kong kaibigan ang cellphone niya. He seems so busy cherishing every second he has with Lilian. Samantalang ako dito ay parang masisiraan ng bait.
Wala ka talagang pagpipilian, Klara. Hindi mo naman pwedeng i-ghost si Niko. Hindi ka naman ganong tao.
I stood in front of the dresser's mirror to look at myself one more time before I go out. Mas malaking bag na ang bitbit ko ngayon dahil napagtanto ko na kakailanganin ko pala ng mas maraming gamit ngayon. Stuff like umbrellas, extra shirt and a band aid in case na may masugatan nanaman.
I just received a text from him saying na nag-aantay na siya sa bus station kaya nagmadali na ko upang makarating don.
Malayo palang ay tanaw ko na ang paghinto ng bus at ang pagpasok ng mga tao sa loob nito. While Niko seems to be searching if I'm already anywhere near. Kaya mas binilisan ko na ang takbo ko.
The moment he saw me he automatically smiled and waved at me. He was like that for couples of seconds na hindi na niya napansin na unti unti nang umaandar ang bus.
Hindi ako tumigil sa pagtakbo at nang makalapit ako sa kanya ay hinila ko siya upang mahabol namin ang lumalayo ng bus. Fortunately, ay nakaabot pa kami at nakasakay. We sat on the nearest vacant seat we saw, at dahil ako ang nauna at humila sa kanya ay ako ang nakaupo sa tabi ng bintana.
Hinahabol ko ang hininga ko habang nararamdaman ko ang titig niya. I saw in my peripheral view that he smiled. Again.
"Anong nginingiti ngiti mo? Muntik na tayong maiwanan ng bus." pagtataray ko sa kanya.
But he answered me with a gentle voice,
"That's exactly what I did the first time we met."
He said 'the first time we met' like we knew each other for a long time. Pero hindi ko maiwasan na maalala ang una naming pagkikita. Patakbo niya kong hinila at sumakay kami sa bus. It was just a week ago. But, why does it feels like a long time ago?
Napatingin ako kay Niko pero wala na sa akin ang tingin niya.
We are on a summer house na ginawa ng tourist spot ng may-ari nito because of how amazing the view is. Mataas ang kabuuan ng Portville kaya normal sa mga bahay dito na nakatayo na sa bundok. But, this house is an exceptional one dahil mula sa mga balkonahe at bintana ay kitang kita ang malinaw na langit at ang mga puno.
How satisfying it looks whenever the wind blows and the leaves on the trees dances. I'm in one of the balconies here enjoying the view but then Niko came and started taking pictures in my area.
Tahimik lang siya simula kanina pero hindi katulad ko, mukhang hindi na niya naaalala ang nangyari nung nakaraan. Or at least he's pretending to forget about it.
He just took like a five different shots then he walked away again. Psh, nakakalimutan niyang may kasama siya sa tuwing hawak niya ang camera. I shook off my own thoughts. Ano naman kung hindi niya ko napapansin?
"Klara." my head automatically turned back when I heard him say my name. Then he lifted his camera and took a picture of me. Agad akong napatakbo sa kinatatayuan niya para makita kung anong itsura ko sa picture.
"Burahin mo yan." utos ko sa kanya kahit hindi ko pa nakikita. It was a stolen shot! Malamang kabura-bura yan. Why would he do that?
Parang gusto ko nalang tumalon sa balkonahe nang tignan niya ang kinalabasan ng picture. Pero nakitingin din ako para mabura ko kaagad.
Oh, it looked fine. I looked cute here. Not as terrible as I thought it would be.
"Why would I? You look beautiful here." naangat ko ang tingin ko sa sinabi ni Niko pero parang wala lang sa kanya ang sinabi niya.
Napalayo ako kaunti dahil nasiksik ko na pala ang sarili ko sa kanya kakatingin sa litratong kinuha niya. Pakiramdam ko mas uminit ang pisngi ko sa sinabi niya.
He was scanning the place when he suddenly grabbed my hand.
"Saan-"
Hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko dahil pinuwesto niya ko sa isa pang balkonahe kung saan direkta itong natatamaan ng araw.
"Stand here and lift your hand dito mo lagay, then tilt your hair to this side." saad niya habang pinoposisyon ang kamay at ulo ko.
"Ano 'to?"
"Just stay like that and smile!" lumayo siya at inangat ang camera na akmang kukuhaan na ako pero binaba ko ang kamay ko at umayos ako ng tayo.
"Niko, ang init!" pagrereklamo ko dahil direkta akong nasisinagan ng araw.
Nababa niya ang camera at ineexpect ko na nakabusangot siya dahil umalis ako sa posisyon na sinabi niya. But, he's smiling like how he always smiles at me.
"Dali na, Klara. Promise ang ganda." he responded.
Kaya bumalik ako sa posisyon ko kanina at ngumiti.
APRIL 12TH
We are standing in front of the church where we were last time. Niko thought that he would take good pictures here during afternoon. Kaya nandito kami sa initan habang pinapayungan ko siya. Napapayungan din naman ako kaya hindi ganon kainit.
"Klara, that's unnecessary. Bumalik ka na don at sumilong. I'm fine here." muli niyang pangungumbinsi sa akin. Nakailang lakad na sya at lipat ng posisyon kaya sinusundan ko din siya para mapayungan. Pero sa tingin ko ginagawa niya lang yon para mapagod ako at bumalik sa lilim.
"Kung hindi ka magpapayong, aalis nalang ako. Ang sakit mo sa matang tignan na nabibilad sa araw." sagot ko na mas naiinis sa paulit ulit niyang pangungumbinsi kesa sa init ng araw.
Nasulyapan ko ang pagkurba ng labi niya sa ngiti. Napapikit nalang ako sa sinabi ko. I shouldn't have said that. 'Yan ka na naman, Klara. You and your impulsiveness.
"Oh, saan ka pupunta?" tanong ni Niko nang iwan ko na siya at bumalik sa silong.
"Ayoko na, naiinitan na ko. Bahala ka dyan."
But then again he smiled as he continued on taking photos.
Humupa na ang araw bandang alas kwatro ng hapon. Ito na din ang oras na pauwi na kami. Binaybay namin ang parehas na daan na dinaanan namin nung nandito kami nung nakaraan.
Pero hindi katulad non na ako ang nagtatanong, ngayon naman ay nakakailang tanong na sa akin si Niko.
"So you're just about to start college?" he asked.
"Oo, kung hindi ako tatakbo." sagot ko na nagpatawa sa kanya. It may sound like a joke but that's exactly how I feel.
Kung pwede lang sana tumakbo. Kung pwede lang sana humingi pa ng kaunting oras para malaman ko kung ano bang gusto ko. Nang may mailaban man lang ako kay Dad. But I think it wouldn't make any difference too, even if I knew what I want to do.
Gusto pa din ni Dad ang masusunod. Mula noon hanggang ngayon.
"Napag-isipan mo na ba yung course na kukunin mo?" muli niyang tanong.
Yun nga eh. Sa tuwing nag-iisip ako sana may naiisip talaga ako. Pero wala talaga. I wonder how long would I let my Dad choose things for me.
"My dad wants me to study hotel management. He wants me to take that course so I could learn how to handle ours." sagot ko.
Our family owns one of the leading hotels in the country. And although I'm sure Dad knew from the start that I have no interest in it, he still insists saying that I would handle the hotels someday.
"That's what your dad wants. What do you want?" tanong niya na nakapagtahimik sa akin.
He smiled as if he understands what's on my mind even before I say it.
"Wala kang kapatid?"
Umiling ako sa tanong niya. And I can't also imagine what it feels like to have a sibling. I feel like it would've been fun or maybe not.
"Parehas lang pala tayo." he answered.
I somehow assumed he has a younger sibling. I don't know. His personality seems like he is a good kuya.
"What about your mom? Does she also run hotels with your Dad?"
"My mom died when I was seven. She was caught having an affair, and she killed herself because she was so ashamed." I answered plainly.
Naramdaman ko ang paghinto ni Niko sa paglalakad. Kaya napahinto din ako. Mukhang nagulat siya. Napahinga ako ng malalim bago siya lingunin. Nabigla ko ata siya.
"I don't usually tell it to others because I don't want people to pity me." muli kong saad.
I was so young back then. When they told me that mom was having an affair, I didn't fully understand what that meant. All I remember was how angry Dad was and he fainted.
He was rushed to the hospital and while he was gone, mom sneaked in to see me. I didn't understand any of the words she said that day. She was crying and sobbing and the only thing that is still vivid in my mind was how she kissed my forehead and how she whispered in my ears that she loves me.
Kung alam ko lang na yun na pala yung huli, hindi ko sana siya hinayaang umalis. Umiyak sana ako, nagwala,o ano man na magagawa ko para mapigilan siya. Because after she left me, she was found dead. She drove and hit her car on a tree.
Lumabas yon sa balita. The news said it was an accident. But, it was a suicide. My mom let her guilt ate her up. She didn't even considered me. She made a mistake and when everyone found out, she just left and died like she has no daughter to raise.
I hated her for cheating on Dad. But, I loathed her for killing herself. Still, she's my mom and she has an aching piece in my heart
Niko seems speechless to what I just said. Kaya humarap na ko muli sa daan at akmang maglalakad nang magsalita siya.
"I never met my dad. Mom said he ran when he found out that she's pregnant." napalingon ako sa sinabi niya. Nakatayo pa din siya sa kung saan siya huminto kanina.
"My mother didn't want to raise a fatherless child. So, she tried to drink pills just to kill me inside her womb. Pero sadyang makapit lang ako." he said the last line with a smile on his face.
When he smiles while taking a picture or shooting a video, I totally understand that. But, when he smiled while talking about a painful thing is something that I don't get at all.
With his smiles, I never thought that he knew he's mother tried to kill him. Dahil siguro kung ako yon, I wouldn't have the ability to smile as brightly as he does.
Marahan siyang lumakad palapit sa akin. He slightly bended his knees para pumantay sa taas ko. With his two fingers, tinaas niya ang dulo ng aking labi.
"Kaya ngumiti ka. So, people won't think there is something in you to pity about." he said smiling.
A tear left my eye at nasundan pa ng mga luha na hindi ko inaasahan na babagsak. What he said was comforting, pero mas naging emosyonal lang ata ako.
He patted my shoulder as I sob in front of him. Nakakahiya pero hindi ako makagalaw dahil sa biglaang sakit na hindi ko alam na mararamdaman ko ngayon.
When someone's crying, the usual thing you would do is to hug that person to bring comfort. But that afternoon, Niko didn't hugged me even if I wished he did.
But, the way he patted my shoulder, the way he smiled, and nod telling me it was okay to cry overpowered the comfort that I got from countless of hugs from countless of people.
It was rare to find a soul like Nikolas. He was the purest and somehow a miracle that I met on summer of the year 2017.
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