"This will be our last meeting for the midterm. In the next two weeks ay finals na ninyo. So, I am hoping that everything is alright and prepared na kayo for the midterm exam." Hindi tanong ang tumapos sa sentence ni Mrs. Auirino. It was as if a conclusion she assumed, because all of us in this room didn't throw any concerns when she asked to. "Goodluck," aniya na ngumiti muna bago lisanin ang silid.
Everyone went crazy. Paano ba naman kasi, we have 4 days left to prepare for our booth. At wala pa kaming final decision for the theme, and we all know without it, hindi namin maihahanda ang mga materyales. Some sections who was chosen to join the competition, have decided and they already passed their written report on the student councils. Ang mga student councils naman ay agad na inilagay sa bulletinboard ang theme ng mga section na nakapasa na nang maiwasan ang pagkakapareho.
Meanwhile, I have something in mind. Today, I will see Matthew with Clover. Hindi ako mapakali. I know we've been together to library and even talked comfortably on phone calls (though I hate it, but I realized it wasn't bad at all). Pero iba ang sa personal. What will I do when I'm in front of him? Baka maging epic na naman, mas malala pa this time.
Since Clover's parents own a cafe, and anniversary nito, she decided to invite Matthew and some of our friends, including Alyssa. Hindi ko alam bakit niya naisip 'yon. Since I told her about him, a little, he thought of inviting him over.
Nasa kalagitnaan ng pag-iingay ang lahat nang may sumigaw sa unahan. Naudlot naman ang pag-iisip ko. "Paano tayo magkakaintindihan kung sabay-sabay tayong magsasalita?" The president of the class exclaimed. She have a long, straight and black hair that rests behind her neck. She always bit her lower lip as she stare at each of us from the front. "Gan'to," an'ya dahilan upang kumalma ang lahat.
"Bakit kasi hindi na lang siya ang mag-isip ng gagawin, 'di ba? She's the president afterall," rinig kong komento ni Irish mula sa harap namin ni Clover. My bestfriend nudge me on the elbow and pouted her lips to point it to Irish. "Palagi na lang siyang gan'yan. I-aasa ang responsibilidad sa atin." We both rolled our eyes. Dito sa aming klase, kung mayro'n mang maraming komento at nakukulangan sa ambag, it's Irish herself. That's why some of us hates her.
"Mamimili na lang ako ng assign leader upang i-manage ang booth competition." Everyone screech in awe, anxious that their names might be called. Kaya pati ako ay kinabahan. Sino ba namang incompetent student ang matutuwa sa ganito, nadadagdagan ang anxiety ko. "Don't worry, hindi lang naman isa ang gagalaw. Everyone will participate," she announced it as if it was an order. "Hindi niyo kailangang kabahan, you won't be alone on the project."
Clover let out a deep breath. "Kung magsalita siya, akala niya madali lang ito."
"Kinakabahan ka ba?" natatawang sambit ko. Natatawa ako dahil sa kaniyang itsura. It looks like she's much bothered than any of us inside this room. "'Wag kang kabahan. Alam mo ba, kung sino ang mas kabado, siya pa ang natatawag." Humalakhak ako.
She frowned at me. "Sige, goodluck," aniya at natawa na tila ninenerbyos. "Matatalo tayo sa competition. I'm even struggling to pick a theme for my essay, sa booth pa kaya? Lord, kunin mo na ko, ngayon na!" She clasp both of her hands and lift her head up while eyes shut, nagdadasal.
Natawa lalo ako.
"Ano, payag ba kayo? We can vote pero matatagalan pa tayo. If you trust me and let me choose, magkakaroon pa tayo ng oras to have a short meeting." Everyone fell silent. Tila nag-iisip ang lahat ng mabuti bago ibahagi ang kanilang magiging sagot.
"Payag kayo?" Umupo si Gio sa bakanteng upuan sa tabi ko. Pinagigitnaan na nila ako ni Clover.
"Bakit, hindi na lang kaya ikaw ang mag-volunteer?" I asked.
Nagulat ito. "Why me? I can't think of one," he responded innocently that made me chuckled.
"Matalino ka. It's easy for you to think."
"Ah? Nagmula rin sa matalino. I can never defeat you on the quizzes and recitations because you think fast, kahit pa pagbangayan mabilis ang pick-up mo sa jokes." He leaned on his desk and peek at my face. Nakapangalumbaba na ito ngayon. "Bakit, hindi na lang kaya ikaw ang mag-volunteer?" He threw me the same question I gave him.
Clover chuckled beside me.
"Agree ako sa 'yo, Gio! Mabilis 'tong mag-isip si Mavis. Wala pang palya kapag nagpaplano. Hindi ba, nung nag-overnight tayo nu'ng may group project siya ang nagpa-paalam sa parents niyo?" Clover smiled proudly. "Mabilis agad siyang naka-isip ng dahilan."
"Ano ba! Iba 'yon," saad ko. Nagi-guilty nga ako dahil nag-sinungaling ako. In fact, it's just a group project na p'wedeng pag-usapan through social media.
Natahimik ako.
Hindi maganda 'tong nararamdaman ko. I feel like my name will be called in any minute now. Actually, sang-ayon ako sa suhest'yon ni President Rain. Mas convenient kung pipili na lang siya kaysa magbotohan pa. We can start right away after she chose. And I trust her--- I think everyone in this class do. She knows who to choose, maybe, because she gets to observe each of one of us whenever she's incharge of the class. Alam niya kung sino ang may potensyal at makakayang mag-isip ng magandang theme for the booth.
I'm not confident that I will be chosen kahit kinakabahan ako. Actually, if it's not because of Clover, baka hindi ako kilala ng mga kaklase ko dahil hindi ako marunong makipag-interact sa kanila.
There's no way she'll choose a quiet and incompetent classmate like me.
"Inuubos niyo ang oras!"
"Sige, pumili ka na," sambit pa ni Klinton, ang class secretary. "Just make sure you choose the right one."
"Look at this smug," Clover commented. Siniko ko ito. "Bakit? Tignan mo ngumiti pa. Akala niya siguro siya ang pipiliin? Baka ma-guidance pa tayo ulit." Humalakhak si Gio sa narinig mula kay Clover. Klinton, let's say, holds something that makes all of us called to guidance whenever he's assigned of the class. O 'di kaya ay parating napapagalitan at napupunta sa gulo ang ilan sa mga kaklase namin dahil sa kaniya.
He loves breaking rules and he loves following his own instruction. Ewan ko. Ilang beses na iyon nangyayari kahit kasisimula pa lamang ng klase. Kaya para sa amin ni Clover, it will be a no. We will object if she choose him.
"OK then," the class president smiled widely.
Is that an evil smile I see on her lips? That doesn't look good.
"Sabihin mo muna ang rason bakit mo iyon napili bago mo i-anunsyo ang pangalan!" sigaw ni Joseph, ang isa sa mga pasaway sa klase. "Para medyo tense." Nagtawanan sila ni Tyron na kaniyang katabi.
The president agreed. "Well, she's not that good at socializing--"
"Why will you choose someone who's not good at socializing? Baka hindi 'yan makaisip ng strategy. What if, we lose in the first round?" Irish commented, again. This time, she shared it on the class.
"The nerve," bulong ni Clover sa 'kin.
"It's not about socially awkward or not. Let me finish, OK?" Hindi nakatugon si Irish at pinagkrus lamang ang kaniyang mga braso. Since then, hindi na ito nagsalita o nagkomento pa. "Naka-grupo ko ito sa marketing plan, perfect ang strategy niya do'n and I thought of her when the booth was announced." She sounds really confident. Sana lang ay tama ang kaniyang mga hinala. "She delivers her idea very well, although nahihiya pa siya nu'ng una. Instead of asking her some ideas, I think mas OK kung siya ang assign leader dito."
"Tangina!" bulong ni Clover.
"Ano bang minumura mo d'yan?" natatawang tanong ko.
She looked at me with both of her eyes bulging.
I threw her a confused look. Napa-isip ako.
I am one of the members in her group that time.
I looked at Rain's lips. Maya-maya when she's ready to utter the name of the chosen assign leader for the competition, I mumbled my own name while scowling, "Mavis."
"Mavis!" She pointed her finger directly at my spot, straight to my face. Unti-unti akong nilingon ng mga kaklase ko na bigla na lamang pumalakpak at nagsi-hiyawan.
What the---
Imbes magulat sa kaniya, mas nagulat pa ako sa nakita mula sa aming pinto. Matthew was standing there while clapping his hands in delight.
Why is he smiling like that?
"Ano'ng masasabi mo, Mavis?" Rain asked me, both side of lips still quirking up. She signal me to come in front.
Tinulak ako ni Clover who shows support. "Punta na!" Hinampas ko ito sa braso.
I walk in front while looking at Matthew. I saw his lips says the words, "congrats, kaya mo 'yan!" in mute. His eyes were sparkling as if he was the one who was chosen. Bakit ba siya nandito? He's not even in this class.
"Well, I'm speechless." Natawa pa ako ng mahina, kinakabahan. "I can't think of any idea yet, pero siguro ang una muna nating gawin for the mean time is to think of how we will assemble the booth." Hindi ako ganu'n kasigurado sa sinasabi ko. But if you think of it that way, mas OK na gawin muna namin 'yon habang wala pang idea sa booth.
Rain clapped in joy. "Tignan niyo? Hays. The progress will be fun, magugulat kayo sa outcome."
"Na-pressure ako bigla," bulong ko sa kaniya. she pat me on the shoulder and scrunched her nose. "Who can draw? Para ma-visual natin ang style ng booth." Walang tumugon.
"Wala namang marunong dito." Natawa ang lahat sa sinabi ni Joseph. "Hanggang stick lang ang lahat."
"Teka, Matt!" My eyes widen a little when Julianna called Matthew who's still standing on the door. "Hiramin ka muna namin, hindi kayo kasali sa competition, 'di ba?"
"Hindi," tugon niya habang nakatingin ng deretso sa 'kin.
"Drawing mo naman kami!" Julianna said, begging. "Sige na!"
"May bayad dapat ah!"
"Ano bang bayad gusto mo?" tanong ni Rain dito. "Babayaran ka namin, or ililibre sa booth---"
"Date with assign leader gusto ko!"
"Yieeeeeeeeeee!" Everyone squealed insanely.
Nakaramdam ako ng hiya. Nag-init ang kabuuan ng mukha ko, at bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Lintek ka! But I kept it cool, anyways.
Rain nudge me on my elbow. "Sabi ko na, he likes you. Napapansin ko lagi kapag dumadaan 'yan sa labas. He kept looking at your spot." She winked at me. Like what I usually do, kapag wala na akong maitugon, ngumiti na lang ako.
We started sketching our booth. Nakita ko ang drawing ni Matthew last last week, but, I haven't seen him draw. And I can see how passionate he is when doing so. May angking talento ito na hindi ko pa nakita sa kahit sino noon. He was very focused, as if you can never talk to him while sketching. And I was amazed by the result. He merely use a marker in a whiteboard but the result is surreal. Nagawa niyang pagandahin iyon at gawing parang nakatingin kami sa litrato. I can't believe how the details I said to him was really there.
"Kinakabahan ka ba?" he asked out of blue. "'Wag kang kabahan. I know you can think anything if you wished to. Gano'n ka katalino," an'ya pa.
Natawa ako. "Are you trying to motivate me?"
"Is it working?"
"Well, I can't think of anything right now. Nangingibabaw ang pressure sa 'kin. Ang OA, 'no?"
He shook his head and glance at me for a second, then, glance back to what he was doing. "You're good at thinking. Think of something that relates you and relates the students generally." No'ng una, I don't have any idea of what he was trying to say. "Or something that you love doing? Share mo sa 'min. 'Yun ang gawin mong idea for the booth."
For some reason, para akong natamaan ng kuryente. Kinuha ko ang phone mula sa aking bulsa at nagtungo sa notes where I can compile my ideas. Nagtungo ako sa dulo ng silid, malapit sa bintana at do'n nag-isip. Hindi nagtagal ay naka-buo ako ng ideya. Hindi nga lang ako sigurado kung magugustuhan ng lahat, especially that not everyone of us is old fashioned or loves the idea that once part of the cringe history of lovers.
Bumalik ako sa unahan.
"May kulang pa ba?" Matthew asked.
"Wala na. It's perfect," I said, glancing on the drawing one more time.
"Grabe sa perfect, baka mag-drawing ako nito magdamag mamaya!" biro niya.
I scoffed. "Pero seryoso, ang galing mo. Ang ganda pa."
"Ang ganda nga," he said and I notice his stares from my peripheral sight. Kung kaya ay humarap na ako sa mga kaklase ko bago pa maghiyawan na naman mga ito. Bumalik ito sa pagdo-drawing.
I glance at him secretly.
How can he make me blush like this? How can his words get to me so fast that I don't need anything to understand it? Why is everytime he looks at me, I get so excited?
For the first time again, I realize I am breaking the walls I build just to be able to see the person on the other side. Dapat ba akong mag-alala? I'm not really sure what is this I have inside my chest. Am I in throes of love? Or just infatuation?
What I am sure is, I need to build more bricks, stronger one for my walls not to fall without my will.